Envy
by DemetriaFeels
Summary: Jackson is in love with Jake. Jake is dating Miley but cheats on her with Jackson. Jackson envies Miley for having Jake. Better than it sounds. Gay couple. Don't like, don't read.
1. I'm Not Gay

**Yes, I am going to be fussed at because I have not updated my other 2 stories, but you know how it is when you just get a random idea that won't leave your head! Well this was one of those. And I should finish this soon because I already have it all planned out, unlike my other stories. **

**Couple: Jackson and Jake. Don't like? Don't read.**

**Told in Jackson's POV the whole way through. If it were to switch, I would tell you.**

**Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I am not a billionaire, so I do not own Hannah Montana. I don't own MySpace, either!**

**- - - - - - - - - - -**

**Envy**

It was a warm summer night and I, Jackson Stewart, was trying to straighten up my room. So far, everything was shoved into my closet and I had been bitten by about eight different socks. I checked under my dresser. Uh oh…I found the skeleton of the hamster I lost when I was fourteen.

"Sweet niblets! That's where you went, Fuzzers?" I asked the tiny pile of bones. Yes, his name was Fuzzers. Miley, my younger sister, named him.

I sighed and sadly threw my old hamster into a shoebox. I would bury him in the morning.

Why did Dad have to make me stay home this weekend while he went on a business trip? Miley was old enough to take care of herself. Well it was because he was worried about her sneaking Jake Ryan, her boyfriend, over and thought she wouldn't while I was home. Why must I be punished for my younger sister's over active hormones?

"Because you're her older brother and you have to protect her from no good boys like Jake," Dad had said in his thick southern accent when I questioned him about it before he left.

He could just forbid her from seeing him, but nooooo. Dad wasn't like that. He believed in letting us make our own decisions.

So he said…If it was my decision, I would be at Cooper's party unsuccessfully flirting with every girl in sight. Looking at myself in the mirror, I understood why I was always unsuccessful. There was nothing special about me. Sure, I had light brown-almost blonde- hair, what a lot of girls go for, but it wasn't enough. Maybe if I my hair was more shiny like Jake's…

I shrugged that idea off quickly. But it was true. Jake's hair was shiny. And it looked so soft. And it was perfect.

"Stop it, Jackson. You're acting like a fucking queer again," I grumbled at myself in the mirror.

That wasn't the first time I thought that. These thoughts had been plaguing my mind ever since I met the guy. They weren't right. They were sick and wrong and I was not going to let myself have them anymore.

I shook my head and focused on my appearance again. I had blue eyes. Most girls like that, don't they? Then why not my eyes? Why couldn't I get a girl?

_Because you don't want one._

I smacked my forehead, trying to force this thought out of my brain, but it hung there and kept repeating itself.

"No," I said to myself in the mirror again. "You are not gay, Jackson."

_Yes you are_.

"Stop!" I hissed.

Fuck that. I turned away from the mirror and walked over to my computer. The room was going to stay messy. I sat down in the chair in front of my computer and logged onto my MySpace account. No new messages, comments, or anything else. My heart dropped a bit. No one liked me. No one cared. I looked away from the screen and my eyes landed on a pair of scissors on my desk. Curiously, I picked them up. I wondered what it would feel like to cut. Would it make things feel better? Or would it just fuck up everything even more?

I took a breath and put the cold blade to my wrist. I was about to find out. Applying pressure, I made a small cut. It wasn't very deep but it hurt all the same. I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out. There was no need to alarm Miley.

"Well I'm never doing that again," I said, wiping the tears from my eyes. Then I threw the scissors at the wall. They made a small hole but I didn't care.

I picked up a random shirt off the floor and held it to my bleeding wrist. I would wait until Miley was asleep to clean it.

I went back to my computer. My top friends was pathetic. Cooper, Thor, Becky, Rico, Max, Miley, Lilly, and Oliver. The last three I just put there so I could have a top eight and not look like as much of a dork. Lilly Truscott and Oliver Oken were Miley's best friends, not mine. I looked at Miley's default picture. It was a picture of her and Jake making out on our couch. Anger boiled inside me. Did she have to let everyone know how much of a whore she was?

I sighed and clicked on her picture, which sent me to her profile. She had some lame Hannah Montana song as her profile song. I scoffed. Could she make it any more obvious that _she_ was Hannah Montana? Then I saw her top. It was full of people. Jake, Lilly, Oliver, Mikayla(yes they were friends), Sarah…The list went on and on. I wasn't even up there. I frowned but smiled a bit when I saw that Jake's default was just him, no Miley in sight. I clicked on the picture. Jake's profile didn't make me gag as much as my sister's. But the comments on it did. There were tons from desperate girls trying to get the actor's attention. I sighed and shook my head. Didn't they notice that Miley was first on his top and that he was clearly taken?

What I saw next surprised me. I was on his top. I wasn't high up, but I was there at least. I smiled to myself and wondered if he had any pictures of Miley at all. My curiosity caused me to click on the link to his pictures. As I skimmed through them I noticed no, he did not have any of my sister. I smirked and kept looking through them until I got to one that made me stop. I clicked on it to make it larger so I could see better. It was Jake at the beach. He was wearing nothing but a pair of swim trunks. By the way the sun was shining off his body, it looked like he had just come out of the water. My eyes trailed from his face to his abs. They looked rock hard…

I felt a pressure build down south on my body and silently cursed myself. This had been a bad idea. But I couldn't help it. This picture…turned me on. I hated myself for it, but it did.

"Shit," I groaned and unzipped my pants.

My hand was in ready position when I heard something that made me stop.

The noise came from Miley's room across the hall. It sounded like she was…

I shook my head, not letting myself finish the thought. But then the sound came again. She was screaming. I listened more and I could also hear her moaning. I frowned. Seemed like I wasn't the only one getting friendly with my hand. Well actually I wasn't at all. When I heard her, I stopped before I had even started.

I sighed and decided a cold shower was the best thing for me at the moment. So closed the window on my computer, got up from my chair, and went into the bathroom. I didn't even bother to turn the hot on at all. I put it on cold full blast and almost jumped in fully clothed when I remembered I had to get undressed. So I did and climbed in, the cold water sending shocks through my body yet calming me little by little. I made sure to clean the cut on my wrist carefully. It stung and hurt like hell but I deserved it.

After I was sure I was ready to get out, I did and got changed into my pajamas. I nursed the wound that I had caused and bandaged it, feeling stupid the whole time. What was wrong with me? How could I have possibly thought that would help?

I returned to my room and was about to plop down in front of the computer again when my stomach growled in protest. I looked at the clock. 10:23. I hadn't eaten for over four hours. That was too long. I made my way through the remainder of the mess and to the door, glad that by the sound of it, Miley was done pleasing herself. When in the hallway, I stopped by her door. No sounds were coming from behind so I tiptoed the rest of the way past, hoping she had worn herself out and was asleep so I wouldn't have to face her for the rest of the night. I don't think I could look at her the same way after what I heard.

I made myself my favorite sandwich, turkey, ham, pickle, tomato, tuna, and peanut butter. Most people were disgusted by it, but it made me feel better whenever I was down and I sure needed it at that moment. I climbed the stairs, already devouring my sloppy mess as my dad called it, and trying to remember not to leave whatever was left over from it in my room to rot.

I heard Miley's bedroom door creak open and close softly. I kept my eyes down, not being able to look at her, and kept walking. She would go around me. But I ran into someone. Their body was too large and strong to be my baby sister.

"Ouch, Jackson, watch it," Jake whispered.

I looked up at him wide-eyed and dropped my sandwich. "Sorry," I mumbled, my mouth full.

He chuckled slightly, his green eyes shining with laughter. I mentally slapped myself for my not-so-smooth move and for even noticing his eyes. Then something clicked in my brain. Jake looked tired. His hair stuck to his forehead like he had been sweating and his button down shirt was open, showing off his abs…Damn Jackson, focus. He also smelled like what I was pretty sure was sex. Not that I knew, since I had never had sex, but all the signs were there so what else could it be? He also had sex hair. But then again, it didn't look much different from how it normally did. It was always messy. But I liked it like that.

"My dad was right," I told him. "You two are having sex."

His face went red. "That was the first time, Jackson…"

"Sure it was," I mumbled, looking at the ground.

"It was," he insisted.

I nodded, still not looking up. I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I noted that it was called jealousy, even though I really didn't want to be jealous.

"Hey, Jackson, you've got a bit of peanut butter on your face," Jake said, lifting my chin with his finger. He licked his thumb and wiped the corner of my mouth. Then he put his thumb in his mouth and sucked the peanut butter off.

At this, my heart nearly stopped and I felt the pressure I had felt earlier building up again. I just hoped he wouldn't notice.

"There, all gone." he smiled a lopsided smile at me and I gave him a weak one back. "Well I better be going…"

I nodded and tried to step to the side to let him pass in the narrow hall but it wasn't enough room. His body ended up pressing against mine. I flinched away from his touch, tripping him. He fell against me and I fell against the wall. The lower half of Jake's body was pressed against mine and the pressure I felt intensified and I felt my face grow hot when he looked down and saw it. He looked back up and his green eyes locked with my blue ones. His face was so close. I could feel his hot breath on my face. And then I felt something rub against me. I looked down. I wasn't alone anymore. I looked back up at Jake and somehow, his face had gotten closer and he was smiling.

Without a word, Jake leaned a bit closer and brushed his lips against mine. I felt my own lips tingle and he pressed his against mine once more. They were skilled and sure against my awkward and inept ones. But they soon found a rhythm and were moving together as one. Just when I was getting the hang of it, Jake pulled away.

"I should go before Miley wakes up," he said breathlessly and took a step back.

I nodded, not being able to find my voice.

"Bye, Jackson." He kissed my cheek then turned and walked down the stairs. I watched him go, not even trying to stop him, mostly because I couldn't move. I was too dazed and confused. I brought my hand up and touched my lips. I was smiling.

That was my first kiss ever. And it happened with my little sister's boyfriend.

I envied her.

- - - - -

**Okay so I think that's a bit more mature than what I normally do and I am trying to get over the awkwardness I feel while typing it. I have so much planned for this story. I'm sorry if that was short, but I promise to have a new chapter up soon. Maybe even today. Review, please! I would like a few reviews before I put the next chapter up. **


	2. All Alone

**Hey people. So thanks for the reviews, even if there were only a few. Hey that kind of rhymed. Anyway…I am keeping my promise and continuing this story! It has about 7 chapters left. Oh and just so you know, I have been dealing with massive depression lately. Just stuff in my life has got me down more than usual. So if I take a night off of writing to watch a movie or something, please forgive me, but it is best for my mental health.**

**Disclamier; I don't own Hannah Montana. That was a boring way to say it, but I said it.**

**- - - - - **

A month has passed since Jake kissed me in the hall that night. Every time he comes over now, he will sneak out of Miley's window, pretend to go to his car, then come sneak in through my window. We would lay in my bed and kiss and cuddle. I was in a secret relationship with another guy. Not just any other guy, Jake Ryan! He was a teen heartthrob actor and he was also my younger sister's boyfriend. I was helping him cheat on her. It felt wrong on so many levels and yet, it felt so right.

I could feel myself falling for this boy, and falling hard. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help myself. I knew what I was doing was dangerous. I was heading into uncharted waters. But I didn't care. I just wanted Jake in my arms as much as he could be.

Miley's screams and moans ended about 5 minutes ago, which means Jake should be crawling through my window any minute now…Ah there he is. Right on schedule

"Hey," I said with a smile, sitting up in my bed.

"Hey, yourself." He smiled back and closed the window. Then he came over and gave me a hug. I could smell what I now knew was sex on him.

"I missed you," I said shyly, always afraid showing too much affection would scare him away.

"I missed you too, Jacky." He started calling me that about a week or so ago. If anyone else tried to call me that, they would suffer the consequences. But I let him call me that. It made me smile and brought butterflies to my stomach.

Jake leaned over and placed a kiss on the crown of my head and then moved to my lips. It was gentle at first but then a bit rougher. It was a lot quicker than normal. He leaned into me and pushed me down on the bed, getting on top of me. His kisses trailed down my jawbone to my neck. I gasped and tried not to moan. He had never done that before, but I liked it. Then he nibbled on my skin and sucked a bit. I couldn't hold it back anymore. I let a loud moan slip through my mouth. I felt Jake smirking against my neck.

"Like that?" He asked, lifting his head and looking at me.

"Uh…define like." I laughed a little. It was shakey and Jake could tell.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah…"

He raised an eyebrow, not buying my sad lie.

"Okay, no." I sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"Youmakingmenervous," I mumbled so fast and low there was no way he could hear it.

"What was that?" he laughed.

"You're making me nervous…"I sighed.

"Nervous?" Jake frowned. "I can't imagine why."

"Oh you know why." Why did he have to tease me like that?

He smirked. "No…I really have no idea."

"Jakey," I whined. I was the only one allowed to call him that, too. "Stop messing around."

"I haven't even started messing around yet, Jackson," he said, no longer playfully. His face was serious.

"O-okay," I stated dumbly, not sure exactly what his words meant.

He pushed me back on the bed gently and went back to attacking my neck. This time, I didn't try to hold back my moans as much. And then his hand went up my shirt. He rubbed my stomach, which had no abs whatsoever, unlike his stomach.

With one swift movement, my shirt was over my head. I no longer wondered what Jake meant when he said he hadn't started messing around yet. With another movement, his shirt was over his head and I was getting a close up view of his abs for the first time. I reached out and rubbed a hand over them, positive I had to be dreaming. I wasn't. That was really happening.

Then he moved to my belt buckle and had my belt off in an instant. Next came his. My pants followed and his right after. In case you were wondering, I was a briefs guy. Jake was a boxers guy. But soon none of that mattered because they were both on the floor.

"Jake wait…" I said, my voice shaking.

"What is it?" He looked up at me.

"I-I'm scared." I said, feeling stupid. I was acting like a girl.

"Don't be, baby." He smiled that sweet smile at me. "Everything will be fine."

- - - - - - -

Later, we were lying in my bed. Jake's arm was draped over my chest and he was fast asleep. But I couldn't sleep. I kept playing the night's events over in my head. I did something really bad. I did something really bad with another guy. I did something really bad with my little sister's boyfriend.

I hated myself. I never wanted anything like that to happen. Well maybe, but not if he was still dating Miley.

Didn't that go against some kind of brother-sister code? "Older brothers must not sleep with their younger sister's boyfriend." Or something like that?

I looked at Jake. He was even cuter when he was asleep. I placed a kiss on his forehead, hoping I wouldn't wake him. He frowned and turned over, but stayed unconscious. I sighed happily and wrapped and arm around him. At that moment I didn't care that he was a boy. I didn't care that he had had sex with my sister only a half hour before sneaking through my window and having sex with me. Yeah, that's sick, I know. I also didn't care that it was. I didn't care what my father would think, either. All I cared about was that he was lying in my arms at the moment and no one else's.

"Jake, I think I love you," I whispered in his ear.

"I love you too," was his mumbled reply.

My heart stopped. Had he really said that back? He must have been dreaming or something. There was no way in Hell he could feel the same way. Maybe I imagined it. Yeah that's it. I imagined it.

But it felt so real…

With that idea in my head, I fell asleep with a smile on my face and Jake in my arms.

- - - - - -

The next morning I woke up naked and alone in my bed. I looked around sleepily. Jake was no where in sight. I patted the spot next to me, where I had last seen him. It was cold, meaning he had been gone for a while. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I blinked and looked around again. The bathroom door was closed. Maybe Jake was in there. I got up and started looking around for my underwear. I couldn't find it anywhere. Had Jake taken in? No, he couldn't have. Why would he?

I shook my head and pulled on a pair of shorts instead. I would go without underwear for a while.

I knocked on the bathroom door. "Jake, ya decent?" I smirked. There was no answer. "Jake, are ya there?" I opened the door a crack. The light was off. I flipped the switch . The room flooded with light. Jake wasn't there. My heart sunk.

He left me. He left me while I was still sleeping. I sighed and hung my head in self pity. I should have known he would leave.

I looked down at myself. Sweat was dried on my skin. I lifted one arm and sniffed my armpit then gagged. I stunk! And yet, I had the faint scent of Jake under my sweat smell, which made me smile a bit.

- - - - - -

I showered and got dressed for the day. I looked at my bed._ Should I make it in case Dad or Miley were to come in? Nah…They never come in and I never make it anyway. Making it would cause them to be suspicious._

I went downstairs, leaving my bed as it was. I heard two voices on the way down. The loud, peppy, obnoxious one I knew was Miley's. The other one I didn't pay much attention to since it barely ever spoke. But then it made a full sentence and I noticed that it wasn't Dad's, like I thought it would be. It wasn't as deep and didn't have a thick southern accent. It sounded much younger, too. I realized at once that it was Jake's. I stopped dead in my tracks. Should I go down there or wait until they leave? But they might be there all day…

I patted my stomach. It felt empty and hollow. I needed food. I heard Miley laughing at something Jake said and the hungry feeling was replaced with one of disgust. I was jealous again.

When I finally convinced myself to actually go into the kitchen, I wish I hadn't. Miley and Jake were making pancakes together. To anyone else, they would have looked like a cute couple. To me, all I saw was the guy I was in love with being clung to by my baby sister.

"Hey, Jackson," Jake said when he saw me.

Miley frowned, upset that she wasn't the center of Jake's attention anymore. I smirked at that.

"Hey, Jake." I opened the fridge and stuck my head inside, looking for something to eat because I was not going to eat any of their love bird pancakes.

"Had fun last night, Jackson?" Came Miley's voice from behind me.

I turned and looked at her. "Excuse me?"

"Well I heard all that moaning." She smirked. "Got lonely?"

"Miley…" Jake shook his head.

"What?" She frowned.

"Leave Jackson alone."

"Whatever, I'm just joking with him." She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.

A little while later, Miley excused herself to the bathroom, leaving me and Jake alone in the kitchen.

"Look, Jackson, I'm sorry I took off this morning," he said quietly.

I shook my head. "It's fine, I understand."

"I had a really good time last night," he said, blushing.

"I did, too." I felt my face growing hot. I was blushing too and then I remembered something. "Hey, did you steal my underwear?"

"Maybe." He smirked.

"Why?" I laughed a bit.

"I wanted something to remember the night by…"

My face grew hotter, as well as my ears. I felt an enormous amount of butterflies flutter in my stomach.

Miley returned to the kitchen. "Jakey-"

"Don't call me Jakey," he corrected her.

I smiled and Miley let out an exasperated sigh.

"Whatever! We need to go to the mall so I can get a dress for the premiere party." She pouted.

He groaned. "Can't you take Lilly?"

"I would, but she is on vacation with Oliver and his family." She frowned. "You have to come."

"Go by yourself." Jake sighed. "You know I hate shopping."

"If you don't come with me you're not going to," she stopped and looked at me quickly, "to do certain _things_ anymore."

"Somehow, I think I'll live," I heard him mutter under his breath.

"What was that?"

He put on a fake smile. "Your car or mine?"

"Your's silly." She smiled then ran upstairs to get her purse.

Jake rolled his eyes and gave me an apologetic look. "Sorry about her…"

"What are you apologizing for?" I laughed. "She may be your girlfriend, but I'm the one related to her, remember?"

He laughed, too. "True."

Miley appeared at Jake's side again and grabbed his hand. "Come on, Jakey time to go."

"Don't call me Jakey!" I heard him grumble at her as she pulled him out the door.

I watched them walk down the drive and to Jake's shiny silver porche. He opened the door for her like a gentleman. Then he went around and got in the driver's side.

My sister was going to get so spend the whole day with Jake Ryan.

I envied her.

- - - - - -

**Blah that was short in my opinion, but this is actually hard to write. Review, please!!**


	3. Be Mine

**Like I said for my Skyway Avenue story(which if you don't read, you should), I am so sorry I haven't updated in a while. School and life are seriously a burden. But I hope I can make it up to you guys.**

**Disclaimer: Eh, see earlier chapters.**

- - - - - - -

Two months passed since the first time Jake and I had sex. Every time he had sex with Miley, he snuck into my room. The whole time I heard Miley's screams from the other room, my stomach twisted into knots of jealousy. But then they would stop and I would grow anxious, knowing Jake would soon be appearing at my window.

I honestly was in love with that boy. He made me so happy. The way he held me, the way he kissed me, the way he fucked me. It was all so great.

But then there were those moments he wasn't alone with me-which was most of the time. Those times when we were in public and we had to pretend we didn't sleep together at least once a week. That was when he was being Miley's boyfriend. I had no claim on him. He was my sister's. It made me sick to my stomach. I couldn't hold his hand, couldn't reach out and move his hair from his eyes, couldn't kiss him. Nothing. It was torture.

I wanted him to leave Miley. I wanted him to be with me. I wished and I hoped and I prayed that one day they would break up. In my fantasy world, Jake would dump my obnoxious little sister flat on her face and then run into my waiting arms. We would hug and kiss and the whole world would smile and accept us. Miley wouldn't be angry. She would give us her blessing. And then Jake would be the most caring boyfriend ever. We would finish high school and get married. Then we would live happily ever after.

That was my dream. And I knew in my brain that it would never come true, but my heart wouldn't stop wishing for it.

I had to face it. Miley and Jake were together. Jake was using me for sex. He didn't love me like I loved him. Jake and Miley were not going to break up any time soon. If they did and I did date Jake publicly, we would not be accepted. Many people, including my father, would hate us. Jake cared too much about his reputation to let that happen. He would disown me. We would not finish high school together. Separately, maybe, but not together. We would never get married.

Something silver on my floor caught my eye. I went over a examined the shiny object. It was the scissors I had used to cut myself the night when Jake kissed me for the first time.

I picked them up. They were right where I had thrown them months before. That seemed like so long ago. And yet, they still had the dried blood on them.

I looked at my arm. The white scar stood out in the light of my room. I never bothered looking at it closely before. It was somewhat curved. Maybe that's because I was so shaky when I did it. But it almost looked like the damn scar was…smiling at me.

A sudden sound from behind me made me jump and drop the scissors. They clanged against the floor and bounced out of sight.

When I looked behind me, I saw Jake standing right beside my window. He had just crawled through. That was odd. I hadn't heard Miley screaming or moaning. So why had he come?

"Jake," I said, my voice a bit shaky from being startled. "I wasn't expecting you."

Jake didn't say anything, just stayed partially hidden in the shadows near my window. I could tell his breathing was heavy from where I stood.

"Jake?" I took a few steps closer. "Are you okay?"

He came into the light of my room and I saw he was far from okay. His eyes were red and puffy like he had been crying. He had been, because I could see fresh tears tracks on his face. His bottom lips was shaking and his hands were balled into fists.

"What happened to you?!" I took his face in my hands and looked into his eyes.

"M-Miley…" He mumbled.

"What's wrong with her?" I whispered.

Jake took my hands away from his face and held them in his own hands. He shook his head. "Nothing."

I looked at him, puzzled. "Then why are you crying, Jakey?"

"She…She broke up with me."

His face crumpled and tears fell from his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him and rubbed his back gently. Moments before I had been wishing for exactly that to happen. But seeing Jake cry and hurt like that, I wanted to take all those wishes back. It wasn't worth it if Jake was hurt.

We moved to my bed. I lay back and he lay on top me. He buried his face in my chest, sobbing. I gently ran my fingers through his hair, trying to sooth him in any way possible. His body shook as he cried.

My heart felt like it was ripping into pieces. I hated my sister. She did that to Jake and she was going to pay for it one day. She was the reason he was crying his eyes out into my chest.

Jake finally calmed down. He stopped crying. The only sound coming from him were a few sniffles from his clogged nose.

"Why did she break up with you?" I asked him, hoping that wouldn't set off the waterworks again.

Jake looked at me. His eyes were even redder than when he had arrived. "She said she didn't want to be with me anymore."

"Why not?" I pressed.

"I don't know, Jackson!" Jake snapped. "Maybe because she doesn't like me anymore?"

I frowned a bit. "She didn't give you a reason why, though?"

"She said she was over me and I was a bad kisser, okay?!"

That didn't make sense. How could anyone get over Jake?! And him…a bad kisser? Fuck no!

"That's not true!" I brushed a tear off his cheek with my thumb. "You are an amazing kisser."

Jake rolled his eyes. "Yeah sure I am."

"You are," I assured him. "Jakey, I don't know what's wrong with Miley. She must be completely deranged to have broken up with you. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met and anyone would be lucky to have you."

Jake nodded, his eyes filling with tears again. He buried his face in my chest again and the sobbing started once more. This time it took nearly an hour for him to stop. My shirt was completely soaked and full of his snot, but I didn't mind.

"Are you okay now, baby?" I wiped a few tears off his face.

He didn't say anything, just nodded.

"We need to take your mind off it," I said. "How can I make you feel better?"

He lifted his head and looked at me. "Well…There is one thing."

"I'd do anything, Jakey. Just name it."

Jake lowered his head and kissed me gently. I gladly returned it, only to receive a harder kiss in return. His finger drew circles on my knee. I knew what that meant, but I didn't object.

He hand moved to my pants zipper.

"Jake…" I grabbed his hand. "No."

He gave me a puzzled look. "Why not? It's not like we haven't done it before."

"Yeah but things were different." I sighed.

"I was dating someone. I was cheating. Now I wouldn't be." Jake went back to undoing my pants.

I let him take them off this time.

"But…You're on the rebound."

Jake sighed and removed my boxers. "I wasn't on the rebound before."

"Yeah, but-"

Jake cut me off by pressing a finger to my lips.

"Shh." He shook his head. "I want this, Jackson. I need this. Please let me have it."

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. I closed it again and looked at Jake for a while. I had the feeling if I didn't give him what he wanted, he would get it whether I was willing or not. And then I would never see him again. So I did the only thing I could think to do. I nodded my head and yanked my shirt off.

"Just relax, baby," Jake cooed. "It's me, remember?"

"Yeah, I know." I gave him a small smile and closed my eyes.

I felt him blow warm air onto me. I moaned. A million thoughts filled my mind as I felt his sleek tongue make contact with skin.

_He's using you. All he wants is sex. He just broke up with Miley. He said he needs sex because Miley wouldn't let him have it tonight. This is all the two of you will ever be. Damn that feels good. Harder, Jakey. Harder!_

- - - - -

I woke up to an empty bed again. He didn't even stay.

I grumbled and threw the covers off.

_I told you so_! My head yelled at me.

"Shut the fuck up," I said out loud.

"Excuse me?" A voice from behind me said.

I yelped and jumped nearly ten feet in the air.

Jake was standing in the bathroom doorway. His hair was wet and sticking to his forehead. He had just come out of the shower. He was naked, too. My eyes had a tough time staying on his face.

"J-Jake…" I gulped. "You're here."

"Why wouldn't I be?" He cocked his head to the side and gave me a confused look.

"You never stayed before."

"Well I didn't have to worry about Miley calling my house phone to check to make sure I was home." He shrugged and leaned against the doorway.

I looked at him. "She would do that?"

He nodded.

"Isn't that a bit…" I searched for the right word.

"Stalker-ish?" Jake raised an eyebrow.

"Well I was going to say clingy…"

"Well I say stalker-ish." He smirked.

I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders. "That's Miley."

We shared a smile in silence for a few moments.

"So you're over it, then?" I asked hopefully.

"Over what?" He gave me the confused look again.

"Uh…The break up?"

He sighed and nodded. "Yeah. I didn't want to be with her anymore anyway."

"Then why were you crying?"

Jake pouted and puffed out his chest. "I was not crying."

I raised an eyebrow. "Yes you were."

"Was not."

"Were too."

"Was not."

"You were balling like a baby and you know it!" I crossed my arms.

"Fine." Jake grumbled and looked at the floor.

I smirked and shook my head.

"You're cute when you smirk," Jake said with a wink.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" I blurted without even thinking about it.

Jake froze and my hands flew up to cover my mouth.

"Uh…Jackson." Jake sighed.

"I'm sorry." I looked down. "Forget I said anything."

He walked over and lifted my chin with his fingers so I was looking at him. "It's not that I don't want to. It's just…My fans. My career. My reputation."

I frowned. "I understand."

"Jackson…"

"I get it, okay?!" I turned my back towards him.

Jake slid his arms around my waist. I wanted to pull away from him, but I didn't have the strength to resist him.

"I'm sorry, Jacky," He said. "I really am."

Just then an idea struck me.

"We-" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "We could keep it a secret."

"Would you be willing to do that?"

I thought for a moment. Would I be able to? I wanted Jake to be mine and no one else's. I wanted to show him off. But I couldn't have both.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'm okay with that."

"Okay," Jake said quietly. "Yes, Jackson, I will be your boyfriend."

My heart swelled with happiness and I couldn't hide the smile that was so big it hurt.

"But Jacky?" Jake said.

"Yeah?"

"Could you take a shower before we celebrate?" I could hear a smirk in his voice. "You stink."

I unhooked his arms from around my waist and pushed him backwards. It was only hard enough to make him stumble, but he fell. I'm guessing over some random piece of shit I had littering my floor.

"I'm sorry, Jake!" I turned and kneeled down beside him.

He had landed in an open pizza box, which still had pizza in it. But at the moment, the pizza was sticking to his back.

"Looks like you need a shower too, now." I sighed. "You go first, I'll wait."

Jake sat up and smirked. "Save water. Shower _with_ me."

I stood up and bolted towards the bathroom. He didn't have to tell me twice.

- - - - - - - - -

**Eh so I don't think I'm too happy with this chapter, but I have a feeling the next one will be tons darker and more dramatic. Just an estimation. Review, please?**


	4. Coming Out

**Hey there! I finally have time to update because I am on winter break and I am out of my classes that took up so much of my time!! Yay!**

**Remember how I said this chapter might be darker? Well… I don't know. I thought I was going to be in a huge depression. But I'm really happy, so whatever happens, happens.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the freak with the blonde wig that is taking over that world.**

- - - - - - - - -

Who's dating Jake Ryan? I'm dating Jake Ryan.

Okay, enough of that.

Jake and I had been together for about three weeks. As I expected, keeping it a secret was driving me crazy. But at least he wasn't leaving me in the middle of the night anymore.

Jake started spending a lot more time at our house, much to my little sister's annoyance. We told people we were best friends. They had no idea we were actually boyfriends. I hated it, but I took what I could get.

So there I sat, smiling at the picture of me and Jake that was the background on my computer. Then I realized I was hungry.

I got up and went down the stairs. As soon as I did, I wished I hadn't.

Miley was in there, apparently whining to my dad about something. A young blonde girl was sitting on the couch; she was unmistakably Lilly Truscott. She was just sitting on the couch, looking quite amused. Miley, however, looked like she was ready to kill. Poor old Dad just sat there with a confused look on his face.

"I don't know why you're freaking out over this, I mean, it's no big deal!" Miley yelled. Dad opened his mouth to say something, but Miley stopped him. "You just don't understand!"

Dad stared at her.

"Ugh, say something!" She screamed. Dad opened his mouth the tiniest bit and Miley cut him off again. "You're so unreasonable!"

Dad shrugged and winked at Lilly, who giggled. Then Dad chuckled.

Miley shot them both angry looks. "Why are you two laughing?!"

"Miley, sweety," Lilly said, standing up, "if you had been paying attention and not ranting, you would have heard your dad say it was fine about five minutes ago!"

"Say what?" Miley said. Ugh, that was getting old.

"Miley," Dad said, standing up, "I'm fine with it, really. I am. I'm happy for ya and I support ya."

"Really?" Miley smiled.

Dad nodded. "Really."

"Awe, thank you, Daddy." Miley wrapped her arms around my dad. "Lilly, get in on this hug before he changes his mind!"

Lilly laughed and shook her head, but hugged my dad, too, sandwiching Miley in the middle.

"What in the sweet nibblets is going on?!" I asked, approaching them.

"Miley and Lilly shared some information with me," Dad said. "Go on, girls. I think ya should tell him."

"Awe, Daddy, do we have to?" Miley whined.

"Yes, Bud."

"If you don't tell him, I will, Miles," Lilly said with a smirk.

"Fine," Miley said, rolling her eyes. "Jackson, Lilly and I are dating. I'm gay. Make fun of us and I'll kill you, boy!"

I stood there, stunned. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. My boy-crazed baby sister, gay? No. It couldn't be.

But then I thought back. She and Lilly had always sat a little too close. Their hands always lingered a little too long. They changed in front of each other…A lot. And she broke up with Jake, for Pete's sake! I had simply missed all the obvious signs.

Taking a closer look, I saw things more clearly. Miley hand her arm over Lilly's shoulder, and Lilly had hers wrapped tightly around Miley's waist. They looked so natural. Like their bodies were made for them to stand like that. They fit. It's like they were meant to be together.

I smiled. "Don't worry, Miles. I won't make fun of you. I swear."

"Boy who can't get a date say what?" Miley asked.

I sighed. "I promise not to make fun of you and then you fucking insult me?!"

"Jackson, language. Miley, your brother is being very supportive, here." Dad frowned. "Ya could at least be grateful."

Miley nodded. "Right…Sorry, Jackson. Thank you."

I shrugged. "You're welcome…"

"Well, Dad, Lilly and I will be in my room. If you wanna come in, knock," Miley said, taking Lilly's hand and pulling her to the stairs.

I looked at my father. "You're going to let them be in her room…together…alone…with the door closed?" I asked in disbelief.

"I don't see why not," Dad said with a shrug. "It's not like Lilly could get Miley pregnant or vise versa."

I nodded. "So you're really okay with them?"

Dad looked at me. "It's who she is, son. She's doing what makes her happy. I'm not gonna stop her because if she's happy, I'm doing my job right."

- - - - -

I went back up to my room, food completely forgotten. My mind was working so hard.

I always thought that if Miley or I ended up gay, Dad would hate us. But I was mistaken. He was fine with Miley being gay. So maybe, just maybe, he would be fine with me being gay, too?

Boy, poor Dad. Two gay kids. Wonder how that happened…

- - - - -

Later that night, Jake sneaked in my window.

"Hey," he said with a smile and pulled me into a hug.

"Hi," I said nervously.

"You okay, Jacky?" Jake asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, uh, fine." I nodded. "I just need to talk to you about something…"

Jake raised an eyebrow. "Okay?" He took a seat at the foot of my bed and patted the spot next to him.

I sat beside him. "So today Miley told our dad something that got me thinking…"

"Okay," Jake said, nodding.

"She told him," I swallowed, "that she's a lesbian and she's dating Lilly."

He sat there for a moment, not saying anything. And then he spoke. "I kind of suspected. She talked about Lilly a lot. And one time she moaned Lilly's name when we were…" he stopped, turning red.

I plugged my ears. "I don't want to hear this!"

"And I don't want to talk about it." He cleared his throat. "So how did your dad handle it?"

"Surprisingly well." I looked at Jake. "He accepted them and said he supported them and even let them be in her room alone together with the door closed."

Jake frowned. "He never let us be in her room alone together with the door closed."

"Yeah, but you, unlike Lilly, could have gotten her pregnant."

He sighed. "Thank God I didn't."

"Okay, Jake, stop!" I covered my ears again.

"Sorry, Jacky." He chuckled. "So if that's all you wanted to talk to me about…" He started to rub the inside of my thigh.

I grabbed his hand. "Actually, there's more…"

Jake furrowed his brow. "More?"

"Yeah." I took a deep breath. "I figured since Dad was okay with Miley and Lilly, maybe we could tell him about us." I looked at him and added quickly. "Just my dad, it doesn't have to be anyone else. Not even Miley."

"I don't know, Jackson." Jake sighed.

I looked down sadly.

"It's just a big step," Jake went on.

"So take it," I said, looking up. "I do so much for you and give up so much for you. I sacrifice a lot. I don't want to keep this a secret, but I do it for you."

"Telling your dad wouldn't be keeping it a secret." Jake pointed out.

I shook my head. "It would be just him. And he wouldn't tell anyone."

"Jackson…"

"Jake, please," I said, looking at him with a pleading look. "Just do this one thing for me. I need to tell him."

Jake nodded slowly. "Okay, Jackson. But just him!"

I smiled a big, goofy smile and threw my arms around him. "THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!"

He chuckled softly and pulled away. "You're welcome. So when are we telling him?"

"Tomorrow," I said without hesitation.

Jake gulped. "Why so soon?"

"The sooner the better." I shrugged.

"Oh…Yeah." Jake checked his watch. "Hey, I gotta go." He stood up.

I pouted. "Why? You never leave."

"I just remembered that I have a meeting with my manager tomorrow morning."

"Well come by after so we can tell my dad," I said. "Say around noon?"

He nodded. "Sure. See you then."

He went over to the window and crawled out. I didn't get a kiss goodbye. That tore me apart. But at least we were telling my dad.

- - - - - -

I went down the stairs, determined to get food this time. Upon entering the kitchen, I saw that someone already had their head stuck in the refrigerator. The cargo shorts and skateboard shoes made it obvious that it was Lilly.

"You know, just because you're my sister's girlfriend, doesn't mean you can clear out our fridge," I said with a smirk.

Lilly jumped and hit her head on the fridge. "Ouch, Jackson. You scared the crap out of me!" She said, rubbing her blonde head.

"Sorry," I said. "So what have you got there?" I asked, nodding to the container in her hand.

"Strawberries," she said, holding them up. "Want some?"

I shook my head. "No thanks. I'm actually after that last piece of cheesecake in there."

Lilly's eyes widened. "There's cheesecake?!"

"Back off, Truscott, it's mine!" I laughed.

She pouted. "Fine. Well…I better be getting back to Miley before she throws a fit. See ya." She started for the stairs.

"Hey, Lilly?" I asked.

She stopped. "Yeah?"

"How come you're dating Miley?" I frowned. "You're way too good for her."

She smiled a bit. "Because I see the Miley that you don't."

"What do you mean?"

"You're her brother, Jackson." The skater girl shrugged. "You only see the bad. I, on the other hand, see the good. And lots of it."

- - - - -

It was almost noon the next day and I was pacing around the living room. Dad was sitting on the couch, completely at ease while I was a nervous wreck. I had told him I had something really important to tell him.

We were waiting for Jake. Finally, the superstar showed up. Fashionably late, of course. It was half past twelve by the time he got there.

"Where have you been?" I asked crossly.

"Sorry, my meeting took longer than I expected." He shrugged.

"Whatever, at least you made it."

"So, son, now that Jake's here, what did ya want to tell me?" Dad asked from the couch.

I sighed and looked at Jake. He was looking at the floor. I guess I would start off with the part that didn't involve him.

"Dad…"I took a deep breath. "I-I'm uh…Gay."

Dad blinked and looked at me for a while. Finally, he let a breath out and nodded. "Okay."

"You're not mad?" I asked sheepishly.

"Nah." He shook his head. "Just surprised, that's all. I mean, it's not every week a dad gets told that both of his children are gay."

I nodded. "Sorry…"

"Don't be. I just want you to be happy." He smiled at me then looked at Jake. "So, why did Jake have to be here?"

"Oh…Uh…" I looked at my boyfriend, then back at my father. "Dad, Jake's-"

"Very supportive of his best friend!" Jake blurted, cutting me off.

"Huh?" I frowned.

"Jackson wanted me here for moral support when he told you, Mr. Stewart," Jake said, ignoring me. "That's why I had to be here."

"Is that true, Jackson?" Dad asked, looking at me and Jake suspiciously.

"Something like that," I muttered.

"Okay, then," Dad said. "Well I have to run. I have to pick Miley up at the mall." He grabbed his keys and left.

"He took that well," Jake said.

I shook my head and ran up the stairs.

"Jacky?!" I heard Jake call and then I heard his footsteps as he came after me.

I ran to my room and slammed the door. A moment later, Jake opened it.

"Jackson, what's wrong?" Jake asked, trying to hug me.

"Get off of me!" I yelled and pushed him away.

Jake took a step back, looking hurt. Well he was nowhere near as hurt as I was.

"Why did you do that?!" I yelled.

Jake asked innocently, "Do what?"

"You cut me off and didn't let me tell my dad about us!" I crossed my arms.

He looked at the floor. "I'm sorry, Jacky. I just wasn't ready."

"Why not?!" I asked, tears forming in my eyes.

Jake said nothing.

"A-are you ashamed of me?" I asked, hoping the answer was no.

Once again, Jake said nothing.

"You are.."

Jake looked up, but didn't meet my eyes. "Jackson, I-"

"No." I shook my head. "Don't say anything. It's over, Jake. Now get out of here."

"Jackson.."

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" I yelled. "DON'T CONTACT ME IN ANY WAY! EVER! JUST GET THE FUCK OUT MY LIFE!"

Jake finally met my eyes. I turned so I wouldn't have to look at him. Then I heard the door shut. When I looked back, Jake was gone.

My knees felt weak. I fell, not being able to stop myself. I couldn't breathe. My throat was closed up. I coughed. Then the tears started to fall. I curled up in a ball on my floor and cried. It felt like I would never stop.

Miley was so lucky. She got accepted by Dad. She also had someone that actually wanted to be with her. She was loved. I wasn't. No one cared about me. The person I gave my whole heart to used me for sex. Miley had it so good.

Fuck, did I envy her!

- - - - - - - -

**Alright so there it is. Sad, huh? Sorry. But it's not over yet. Review, please.**


	5. Even More Out

**I'm sorry for the long time it has taken me to update. Two months is too long, I know! But my life has been quite hectic. But I think this chapter will be pretty good since I'm somewhat going through what Jackson is.**

**Disclaimer: See earlier chapters. **

**I am writing in present tense now.**

**Oh and I think you should take me seriously when I say this is for mature readers.**

**- - - - - - -**

I fucking hate my life. I really, really do. I cry myself to sleep every night. I've just never felt so alone. I went from being loved and in love to totally abandoned. It's like my life and everything I knew just got turned upside down. I don't feel like myself anymore. I'm a zombie. Everyone can tell. Even Miley has been being nicer to me.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Dark circles are under my eyes. I look like I haven't had a good night's sleep in a month, which I haven't. Yep, it's been a month since the worst day of my life. I am completely miserable.

I walk down the stairs. It's the day I'm going to come out to my friends. Might as well get it over with.

"Morning, Fag," Miley says as I enter the kitchen.

"Morning, Dyke," I greet.

Those are our new nicknames for each other. I told Miley the whole story a week ago. I mean I told her_ everything_. Even the part about how I helped Jake cheat on her. She was pretty upset, but she got over it considering she'd rather be sleeping with Lilly anyway.

Ew. Bad mental picture.

She sympathized with me about the whole gay thing. We stayed up talking for the rest of the night that night, which was weird for us. I broke down crying at one point. She let me cry on her shoulder like a good little sister. Honestly, I loved getting all that stuff off my chest and feeling close to someone again. I'd been keeping to myself. Now Miley and I actually get along. We've hung out all week.

But she feels sorry for me. I can tell. That's all I need. Someone feeling sorry for me. I feel sorry for myself enough already!

"Ready for today?" She rests a hand on my shoulder and looks at me with concern in her eyes.

Guess what. I love my little sister.

"Ready as I'll never be," I say with a sigh. "But I have to get it over with."

She shakes her head. "You don't have to, Jackson. Not if you're not ready."

"I'm ready, Miles." I look at her. "I have to. Maybe it will help me move on."

"Or cause more problems for you." She frowns. "Look, Jackson-"

"Morning!" Lilly says, walking in and cutting off whatever Miley was about to say. She gives Miley a peck on the lips then looks at us. "Did I interrupt something"

"Nope," I say, trying to end the conversation.

"Actually, yes," Miley says, not letting me get away with it. "Jackson, are you sure you're ready? Because if you're not, don't come out."

Lilly nods, knowing exactly what we're talking about because Miley tells her everything. "She's right, Jackson. Kids can be mean. Don't come out unless you're sure you can handle the shit they throw at you."

"I can block words out pretty well."

"No," Lilly says, shaking her head. "I mean sometimes Miley and I actually get things _thrown_ at us."

"Like what?" I ask, wide-eyed.

"You don't want to know," Miley grumbles.

"Guys, I appreciate this, but I really have to do this." I look down. "It's for the best."

"If you're doing this because of Jake then you shouldn't do it." Miley says softly.

"I am not doing it because of Jake!" I snap.

"Jackson, Miley's just trying to help," Lilly says in defense of her girlfriend.

"Yeah, well butt out!" I growl and pick up my bag. "Both of you!" I turn and storm out the door before either of them can say anything else.

- - - - -

By the time I get to school, my nerves are getting the best of me. Maybe I should listen to Miley and Lilly.

I enter the quad, squinting in the sunlight and try to find my friends.

"Jackson, over here!" Max yells and waves at me.

I take a deep breath and walk over.

"Sup, man?" Cooper asks, shaking my hand.

"Nothing," I say, letting go and giving Max a knuckle touch.

"Hi," Becky smiles and gives me a hug.

"Hi!" Thor says in his goofy way and tries to hug me.

"Woah, there big boy," I say, sticking my hand in between us.

"Oh, right, no hugs. Sorry, little fella." He shakes my hand enthusiastically.

Max and Cooper laugh.

"Man, Jackson, why won't you hug him?" Cooper asks.

"Yeah, he _looooves_ you," Max teases.

My face burns red and I look away. I catch a glimpse of Jake standing near the lockers and my stomach does a flip. I quickly look back at my group of friends.

"I sure do love Jackson!" Thor says, not understanding the joke. "He's my best buddy!"

Max laughs so much his body shakes, his black curls bouncing up and down. Cooper merely chuckles.

"You hear that, Jackson?" Max pats me on the back. "He does love you. I think you should ask him to prom."

"Shut up," I mutter.

"Alright, Max, cool down," Cooper says, annoyed with Max as well.

"Why? It's not like Jackson's gay or anything." Max says, smirking.

It's now or never. I clear my throat, my heart hammering in my chest. "Actually, I am."

Our group gets silent and everyone stares at me. They all have blank expressions on their faces except Thor, who has his usual goofy smile on and is staring at the sun with his mouth open.

"_What_?" Max asks, taking a step back.

"I'm gay, got a problem with it?" I say with an edge of toughness in my voice.

"Yeah, it's wrong," he says sounding disgusted.

"No, what's wrong is trying to watch your chess club girlfriend try to eat with her head gear!" I retort.

"She happens to be captain of the chess team!" He says, getting defensive.

"Good for her," I say sarcastically.

I look over my shoulder. Miley and Lilly are just entering the quad, holding hands as usual. Good. I have backup if I need it.

"It's bad enough that your sister's a fucking dyke, but now you're queer too?" Max goes on. "That's just sick."

I step up and get right in his face. I'm so close I can smell his breath. He forgot to brush his teeth. Ew…

"Don't you fucking say anything about my family," I say through gritted teeth.

Max puts his hands on my chest and pushes me away, hard. I fall to the ground, feeling my palms scrape on the cement as soon as I hit.

"Stay away from me, faggot!" He yells.

The quad grows quiet and everyone looks at us.

Max looks around. "Yeah, you heard right! Jackson Stewart's gay!" He starts to back away. "If you know what's good for you, keep out of my way." And then he's gone.

Whispers start. Everyone is looking at me. Some people look disgusted. Others sympathetic.

Miley and Lilly run over.

"Jackson, are you okay?" Miley says, holding her hand out to help me up.

"I'm fine," I grumble and stand, ignoring her hand.

She puts it back by her side. "Do you want to go home?"

I shake my head. "That would make it worse. I gotta stay."

She nods. "Okay." She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug.

I return it, careful not to get my bloody palms on her clothes.

She pulls away and gives me a smile. "I have to go to my locker. You sure you're gonna be okay?"

"Yes, Miles, run along."

She nods and walks away. Lilly follows, giving me a wink.

"Good job," she says as she passes.

"Thanks."

I turn to Thor, Becky, and Cooper. Thor looks clueless, which I'm sure he is. Becky looks giddy for some reason. And Cooper has an unreadable expression on his face.

I decide to question Becky first. "And you're bouncing up and down in excitement because…?"

"Because I can finally have a GBF!" she exclaims and throws her arms around me.

"GBf?" I ask, trying to pull away.

"Gay Best Friend, duh!" She squeals in excitement. "I can't wait to tell the girls that we have a new shopping buddy!" She starts to skip off.

"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I like shopping!" I call after her, but it's no use. She isn't listening. I sigh and turn to Cooper.

"Come on, let's get you to the nurse for those hands." He says, nodding towards the doors leading inside.

We walk in silence through the halls. People stare at me and whisper amongst themselves. I try not to notice.

We get to the nurse. She says since another student caused my injuries, we have to get the principal involved, so she leaves me and Cooper alone in her office while she goes get him.

Cooper busies himself by reading a poster about STDs on the wall. I doubt he's really reading it.

"So you hate me too, huh?" I say, tugging on the towel the nurse gave me for my hands.

He turns and faces me. "I never said that."

I look at him, confused. "But, I thought-"

"Would I have brought you to the nurse's office if I hated you?" he asks.

"I guess not." I look down.

"I'm just shocked, okay?" He sits in the chair beside me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrug.

"I'm supposed to be your best friend." He shakes his head. "Or at least I was until you started hanging out with Jake Ryan."

My cheeks burn slightly and I look at the wall, biting my lip.

"Jake was more than a friend, wasn't he?" Cooper asks slowly.

Tears sting my eyes and I look up at my oldest friend. His face shows nothing but concern. I nod.

He looks at the wall. "Is he the reason you've been so fucked up lately?"

"Yeah," I say quietly.

"Want me to kick his ass?" Cooper places a hand on my shoulder.

I look up at him and smile a little. "No, that's okay."

He nods and gives my shoulder a squeeze before letting go. We sit in silence again.

I break it. "So you're really okay with me being… You know, gay?"

He stares straight ahead for a bit, not saying anything. I can tell he's thinking. It's a while before he answers. "Yeah, I am Jackson. It doesn't matter. You're still the same guy I've been knowing since I was twelve." He looks at me. "Nothing's changed."

I smile and feel tears well up in my eyes again. "Thanks."

He shrugs. "No worries. And Jackson, I've got your back. Anyone messes with you, they're answering to me." He flexes his muscles. I try not to laugh. Cooper thinks a little too much of himself sometimes.

"Okay, you can start with Max," I say.

"Oh I will." He nods. "Oh, and I have one condition."

"What's that?" I ask.

"Just don't make any moves on me. That would be weird." He points a finger in my direction.

I hold my scraped hands up. "Don't worry. When I look at you, all I see is a friend."

"Good." He nods and pokes me in the gut with a smirk.

- - - - -

Once my hands are bandaged up, Cooper and I leave the nurse's office. On the way to class, I see Jake in the hall. He stares at me. It makes me kinda uncomfortable. My cheeks burn under his gaze.

"Coop, can we walk a different way?" I ask, glancing at Jake.

Cooper follows my glance and spots Jake. "No," he says, "we have to go this way." He starts walking down the hall.

I sigh and follow.

We go to pass Jake, who is still staring. Mikayla is waving her hands in front of his face, trying to get his attention.

Cooper growls at Jake, "Man, what are you looking at?!"

Jake seems to snap out of his trance. "Huh?"

Cooper shoves him up against the locker and holds him by his shirt. "I said, 'what are you looking at' pretty boy!"

"Coop, come on, let's go," I say, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him away.

He gives Jake one last shove and walks off, scowling the whole time. I follow and glance at Jake over my shoulder. He looks scared shitless.

As soon as we turn the corner, Cooper doubles over laughing.

"Why did you do that?!" I hiss, looking around the empty hallway.

"Oh come on, he deserved it for what he did to you!" He says, straightening up.

"No one can know about that!" I say, checking around again. "It would ruin his career. Besides, you don't know what happened anyway."

"Well you didn't tell me." My friend says, looking hurt. "You've been keeping a lot of secrets from me."

God, I feel guilty. "I know, I'm sorry. Why don't you spend the night at my house tonight and I'll catch you up?"

He nods. "Okay, but I'm sleeping on the floor and please don't give me too many details."

"Fine, let's just get to class." I start to walk away, making him follow _me_ this time.

- - - - - -

Halfway through science class, I need to pee. I ask to be excused and head over to the bathroom.

I go up to the urinal and unzip my pants and.. You know…start to pee. The door opens. I glance over my shoulder.

Oh God, it's Jake.

My mind goes back to all those nights we spent. I remember how it felt for the thing in my hand to be in his hand. I go a bit stiff in that area just thinking about it.

"Oh," he says, his face turning red. "Hey, Jackson…"

I clear my throat. "Hi."

"What brings you to the bathroom?" He stands by the door awkwardly.

"I had to pee," I say, raising an eyebrow.

He glances at my open pants and bites his lips. "Oh.. Right," he says, his voice shaking.

"Mhm." I finish my business and zip my trousers.

"So uh you came out today." He states.

I nod and feel a burst of confidence go through my body. "Yeah. When are you going to?"

He face goes a deep shade of red. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Give it up, Jake," I spit. "It's just you and me in here and we both know how much you love to suck cock."

He looks at the wall. "I'm not like that anymore."

"You are too." I walk closer and put my hands on his hips. "You like boys, Jake. You can't deny it forever." I pull his hips towards mine at the same time I bring mine forward. They crash together and I instantly feel him get a boner.

"Jackson…" His breathing is hitched.

"Yes, Jake?" I ask innocently, rubbing the inside of his thigh like I used to to tease him.

I move my hands to his belt buckle and start to undo it. Then I unbutton his pants and unzip them.

He shivers and bites his lip. "Please, just do it."

I lean into him, pressing him against the door. I reach behind him and lock it. At the same time, his hands are at my pants, fumbling to undo them. Gosh I need them off. They're way too tight in the crotch region right now. He succeeds in undoing them and slide them down just the right amount.

I slide my finger into the elastic of his boxers and tug at it. I can see the goosebumps on his skin. I lean in and kiss him neck softly. He shivers again. I move up and kiss his ear as I slide my hand into his boxers. He's stroking me gently on the outside of my briefs. I slowly start to pump my hand as I nibble on his earlobe. He moans softly and slides his hand into my underwear.

When he's almost at his breaking point, I slide my hand out and take a step back. His eyes flash open.

"What the hell, Jackson?!" He frowns.

I shrug and zip my pants up. I go over to the sink and turn the water on. I wash my hands and stick my head under the cold water. It helps. I try to think of Aunt Pearl in a bikini. That helps…_Tons._

I've calmed down enough to go back to class. Jake is nowhere near ready to leave. I smirk.

"Well, see ya, Jake." I say, unlocking the door.

He glares at me. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You fucked up my head." I tell him. "that's what."

I open the door and leave. On the way back to class, I realize what had just happened.

"What the fuck did I just do?" I say quietly to myself.

I made a huge mistake. That's what I did. I let my hormones get the best of me and I fucked my ex boyfriend right when I was getting over him.

I feel sick to my stomach. I go back to class. The teacher takes one look at me and sends me home for the day. Fine with me.

- - - - - -

As soon as I get home, I dash upstairs. I collapse on my bed, crying harder than I've ever cried before. I cry until I can't breathe and then, I black out.

When I open my eyes, Miley, Lilly, and Oliver are sitting on my bed looking at me.

"What?" I grumble.

"You came home after all," Miley says.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." I sit up.

"I brought your assignments," she says, dropping a folder in my lap.

"Thanks." I toss them to the side, having no intention of doing them.

"Well, we just wanted to make sure you were okay," Lilly offers.

"I'm fine." I say. "Bye."

Lilly and Miley stand up. Oliver remains sitting.

"Come on, donut boy," Lilly says, opening the door.

"I think I'm gonna hang out here for a bit," he says.

When did I invite him to stay?

Miley and Lilly share a look, shrug, and leave, shutting the door behind them.

"So you're gay, huh?" Oliver says with a smile.

Ugh, great, now he's gonna hit on me. Oliver came out last year. He said he was gay when no girls wanted him. Then, as soon as he came out, all the girls wanted him. I guess it's one of those 'I want what I can't have' things. Then he decided to be bi so he could date girls and still be lusted after. If you ask me, I think he just wants attention.

"Yeah, so?" I scoot a bit farther away.

"I didn't think you swung my way," he says, scooting closer.

"Well now you know." I scoot more away.

He crawls over and sits in my lap. What. The. Fuck.

"I've always thought you were cute, you know…" He pushes some hair out my eyes.

"Have you, now?" I try to lean away from him.

He nods, biting his lip a bit. "I have."

I look in his eyes. They're a dark brown. Deep and well, I guess pretty. His messy brown hair is kinda cute. His nose is a little big, but that's not that big of a deal. Maybe I could learn to like him…?

He closes his eyes and leans forward slowly. Oh what the hell, I might as well.

I close the gap between us and kiss him. It feels nothing like kissing Jake used to. He instantly shoves his tongue in my mouth. His hands go up the front of my shirt. What the hell does he think he's doing? Oh well, I guess I'll go with it. I bite his tongue gently and lie back on the bed. He gets on top of me and straddles my hips.

I hear the door open.

"Hey, Jack-Woah!" Cooper holds his arm up to shield his eyes.

I push Oliver off me. He falls on the floor. Lilly's right, he is a donut.

"Hey, Coop," I say, trying to catch my breath.

"Dude, should I come back later?" He asks.

I shake my head. "No, Oliver's just leaving."

"What?" Oliver asks, hopping up off the floor.

"You're leaving." I say. "Bye."

"Well…" He shuffles his feet. "Can I ask you something first?" He glances at Cooper.

"Go for it."

"Will you be my boyfriend?" He looks at me sheepishly.

"Sure," I say, trying to get rid of him. "I'll call you tomorrow, k?"

He smiles wide. "Okay." He leans over and kisses my cheek softly then goes down the hall to Miley's room.

"Just so we're clear," Cooper says, "what I just saw, I'm not doing that."

"You don't have to." I look at the wall.

"You're not using him to get over Jake, are you?" He asks.

"No," I lie to him and myself.

"Good, cuz you know that would be wrong."

I nod. "I know."

I'm a dick. Poor Oliver. But maybe I will learn to love him.

…Maybe.

- - - - - -

**The end. I told you it was mature. Review?**


	6. Endless Cycle Of Pain

**So if you follow me on youtube, you know my account was suspended. I lost all of my videos. I will not be continuing either of my youtube series. Sorry. I have a link to my new account on my fan fiction page.**

**Disclaimer: Hannah Montana is owned by Disney. Not me.**

- - - - - -

Cooper and I talked the whole night pretty much when he slept over. I filled him in on everything that went down with Jake. Even what had happened in the bathroom earlier that day.

"I am never using that bathroom again," he'd said after I finished telling him.

That was almost a week ago. Which means I have been dating Oliver for a week almost. It's…Okay, I guess. They say the easiest way to get over someone is to have someone else, but Oliver really isn't helping. I still think of Jake every single day. He is my first and last thoughts of the day. It really doesn't help that he goes to my school, either. But since he is two years younger, I only see him in the hall and at lunch. Still, it's too much for me. It hurts like hell just thinking about him, but seeing him! I want to die every fucking time. Especially when our eyes meet. Those times are the worst because if I look into those beautiful green eyes, I run the other way trying not to start crying like a fucking toddler who's had their ice cream taken away.

As I walk down the hall, a pair of hands cover my eyes and a cheery voice says, "Guess who!"

"Oliver," I say dully. I really hate that game. And he does it every day!

He removes his hands. "You don't play right, Jacky," He says with a pout.

"Well it's not hard to guess when you've done it every day this week." I roll my eyes. "And don't call me Jacky! You know I hate that."

"Sorry." Oliver smiles and slips his hand into mine. It's a weird fit. I'm not used to it yet.

A few people stare as we walk down the hall like that. My first public boyfriend. It is totally awkward. I always pictured doing this with Jake. The burning eyes of my peers wouldn't bug me so much if I was with him. But with Oliver…It's just not what I imagined.

"What are you doing tonight?" Oliver asks.

"Nothing," I reply simply.

"Oh I know what you're doing." He has a sly grin on his face.

I raise an eyebrow. "What's that?"

He leans forward and breathes in my ear. It gives me chills. Not the good kind, though.

"Me," he whispers.

I choke on my own spit as my face starts to burn bright red. Oliver takes this as a good sign, so he leans in and gives me a wet kiss. Tongue and everything. Once again, awkward.

"See you later, babe." Oliver gives me one last peck, then heads off to class.

He called me _babe_. I don't know why, but I've always hated it when people called their boyfriends or girlfriends _babe_. And I do not enjoy being called that, either.

I turn around to head to class and run into someone.

"Sorry," I mutter, hoping it's not Jake or Max.

"You will be if you bump into me again," a girl's voice says.

I look up. It's Mikayla. She is Jake's new girlfriend. Perfect. Just what I needed.

"My bad, Mikayla," I mumble.

"Yeah, it is your bad." She scowls at me.

"Why do you have to be such a bitch?" I say, anger boiling over me. Maybe it's the fact that she's _his_ girlfriend or maybe I've just had enough shit for one week, but at that moment, I hate that stupid pop star.

"Look, just because I am friends with your sister does not mean I have to be nice to you," she says, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

I roll my eyes. "And you couldn't just be a decent person for the hell of it?"

She shakes her head. "Not to you, stalker." She starts to walk past me, bumping her shoulder into mine.

"Excuse me?" I pull her back.

"Hands off!" She screeches, knocking my hand away like it's filth.

"Why did you call me a stalker?"

She lets out an exasperated sigh. "Because you're always staring at my boyfriend. I mean, I get you're gay and everything and that's whatever. You're sister's gay and I'm cool with that so it's not like I have a problem with gay people. But seriously, back off Jake. He's straight and he's mine."

I resist the urge to laugh right in her face at that last sentence. "One, I try to avoid looking at Jake whenever possible. Two, I do not want him because he's an asshole. And three, Jake's about as straight as a circle!"

Anger flares in her eyes. "_What?!_"

I smirk. "Jake, he likes to fuck you up the ass, doesn't he?"

Her cheeks burn bright red. "My sex life is none of your business."

My smile grows. "That's a confession."

"So what if he does?" She growls, getting right in my face.

"Oh…No reason." I take a step back. "One last thing. Next time he asks you to suck his dick, make sure to do it nice and slow. He likes it slow."

With that, I turn on my heel and start walking the other way with a bounce in my step. I've just outed my ex to his girlfriend and damn does it feel good. I can only imagine the fireworks that will be flying at lunch. I used to want to keep Jake's secret for him so it wouldn't ruin his career. But why should I? It's not like he cares about me. He never did. So if I can make his life one bit as miserable as he's made mine, then I will do it!

It isn't until the end of my next class that I start to feel guilty. Jake really messed me up, but should I stoop to his level? Doesn't matter. The damage has already been done.

The bell rings and I consider staying right there in my desk. I close my eyes and pretend like doing that will make everything go away. My hands ball into fists and I try to disappear.

"Jackson?" I hear a voice say. I open my eyes to see my teacher standing over me. Mrs. Jergins. She's kind of old but nice.

"Yes, Mrs. Jergins?" I ask politely.

"Are you okay?" She sets her papers on my desk and looks at me over the rim of her glasses.

I nod and give her the smile I reserve for all my elders. "I'm fine, Mrs. Jergins. I just didn't sleep well last night."

"Hey, Jackson," Oliver says, coming into the room.

I resist the urge to frown. He always pops up when I don't want him around-which is a lot.

"Hey." I stand, picking up my book bag. "To what do I owe this visit?"

"I was wondering if you would mind if I bought you lunch." He smiles.

See. Right there. Guy makes me feel so damn guilty 'cause he's really sweet.

I gave him a little grin. "Sure."

He slips his hand into mine again. I try to enjoy the feeling of it being there, but I just can't. No matter how much I want it to, it doesn't feel right. I want to like Oliver, I really, really do. But I don't. At least I am trying.

When we get to the cafeteria, we see every head is turned to one corner. I hear a voice screaming. I automatically know what's going on because it's Mikayla's voice.

"What do you suppose that's about?" Oliver asks, looking over to the corner.

"I don't know," I lie.

"Let's find out," Oliver says. And before I can protest, he's pulling me towards the corner. What should I do? Dig my heals into the ground? Yank my hand from his? Try to run away? Those are things I should do, but instead, I follow him. Because honestly, I want to see Jake get bitched at.

We push through kids and finally get to the front of the semi-circle that has formed around Jake and Mikayla. Jake is in the corner, crouching in fear. Mikayla is pacing in front of him like a tiger in a cage.

"Why would he say that, huh, Jake?!" She screams at him.

Jake looks at me. There is genuine hurt in his eyes. He looks back at Mikayla. "I don't know."

"What, did he just make it up?" She screeches.

Jake glances between me and his girlfriend. He looks like he's about to cry. Finally, he hangs his head in defeat. "No," he says quietly. "It's true."

Mikayla gasps. Jake looks up, only to receive a slap in the face by the singer.

"It's over," she growls. Then she pushing her way through the crowd, still fuming.

The cafeteria breaks out into chatter. Every one is asking Jake what happened. But he just shakes his head, not saying anything. There are tears in his eyes. He might start crying any minute.

I slip my hand from Oliver's and approach him slowly. "Jake?"

He glares at me. "Stay away from me!" He draws his fist back and forward quickly. I didn't have time to react. His fists connects with my jaw and I am sent stumbling backwards.

I look at him with tears in my blue eyes. He's losing it. There's a deranged look in his eyes. Then, he bolts forward, through the crowd, and out the door. Before I know it, I am on my feet, chasing after him. I hear Oliver call after me, but I keep going. I chase him all the way out to the parking lot. He's a lot faster than I am. He hops in his silver convertible. The engine revs before I can reach it. He starts to back out. I stop and put my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. Jake looks over his shoulder at me, then turns back and peels out, sending rocks flying everywhere.

Someone's running towards me. I hear their footsteps.

"Jackson!" Oliver calls from behind me. Figures it'd be him.

I sigh and turn around. "Not now, Oliver."

He stops running and slows to a walk. "What was that about?"

"Nothing." I stick my hand in my pocket, searching for my keys.

"That was not notching, Jackson." He puts his hands on my cheeks. "Tell me what's going on."

I back away from him and start walking towards my car. "Mind your own business."

"Jackson!" He's following me.

I stick my key in the lock on my door and open it. "Just go away and leave me alone, okay?"

"No, it's not okay!" He reaches out and slams my door closed. "Tell me what's wrong!"

"I just can't deal with this right now!" I yell right in his face. He backs off, looking like he's going to cry. I turn my back to him, open my door, and climb in my car.

I back up and start to drive away. I'm gonna be dead for ditching school, but I don't give a fuck. In my rearview mirror, I can see Oliver still standing in the spot I'd left him. He's watching me leave, just like I'd watched Jake leave.

It's an endless cycle of pain.

Woop-dee-fucking-do.

- - - - -

**Sorry for the super long wait for an update! It's been crazy for me. I have been having medical issues. Going see doctors. And I have been trying out medicines. So far, I've gotten all the nasty side effects. It really sucks. Please bear with me. Summer is almost here. **


	7. Forget

**I know, I suck at updating. But I have my reasons. One of them is my attention span isn't long enough for me to sit in front of my computer and type for an extended period of time. So sue me. I am, however, trying to update my stories quicker since it is summer. We'll see how that goes…**

**Who's upset that they didn't get any reviews for last chapter? THIS GIRL. I'm not used to not getting reviews. I'm spoiled in that sense. My other stories get reviews. But this one doesn't. It makes me want to update my other stories more because I feel like no one cares about this one… :'(**

**Disclaimer: See chapters before.**

- - - - -

As soon as I get home, I run inside and up the stairs to my room, very thankful Dad isn't home to question me. I really don't feel like explaining why I am ditching school.

In my room, I flop down on my bed. I've been fighting my tears since Jake left school, but can resist them no longer. I open my mouth as a sob escapes from my chest. Pain ripples through my body as the hot tears start to flow with ease. My entire body shakes as I let my grief flood out of me.

I cry a good, hard cry for about ten minutes. My entire face is full of snot and tears. I haven't calmed a bit. I start to cough. My throat feels raw, but I can't stop coughing. Then I start to gag. I jump from my bed and stagger to the bathroom, making it to the toilet just in time for my stomach to empty itself of its contents.

Waffles don't taste good coming back up, let me tell you.

As soon as I finish vomiting, I let my weak body rest on the toilet. I lay my head on the lid, not even caring that my face is on something that touches my ass every day. I take a few deep breaths, trying to feel better, but breathe in the scent of puke. It only makes my stomach turn again.

I slowly reach up and grasp the handle, giving it a jiggle and flushing the toilet. I watch the sick swirl down with a grimace. Once the water settles, I take another deep breath. Fresh air enters my nostrils. It travels though my body and settles my stomach a bit.

But I still have the taste in my mouth.

I slowly stand up, my legs shaking a bit. I reach over and grab my toothbrush from its holder. After squirting paste onto the tiny plastic bristles, I brush my teeth, desperately trying to make my mouth feel fresh again. I don't even bother to spit. I swallow the foam, hoping it will get to the back of my tongue.

I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are red, making the blue much more intense. My hair is sticking up in several places and my face is filthy.

I suddenly feel the urge to clean my entire body. I kick off my shoes and start unbuttoning my pants. I slide my boxers down with them, then pull my shirt over my head. I reach into the shower and turn the water on, climbing in right after, not even bothering to let the water warm up.

The icy water hits my back, causing goose bumps to rise on my skin. It reminds me of playing in the rain as a kid. But I'm not a kid. And I don't have that carefree sense of the world that kids have. I am seventeen, almost eighteen, years old. I am not carefree. I am really fucked up.

The water slowly turns warm and the tension in my muscles starts to loosen. I roll my shoulders a bit and crack my neck, trying to relax. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. It's not working.

With a grunt, I step out of the shower. I instantly feel cold out in the air. I grab a towel off the rack and dry myself off. I step out of the bathroom just as I put the towel over my head, rubbing vigorously to try to towel-dry my hair. I go to my dresser and open one of the drawers, the towel still on my head.

Someone clears their throat. "Jackson?"

I jump nearly ten feet in the air when I hear that, ripping the towel off my head and wrapping it around my waist.

My heart is pounding in my chest as I turn around. I see Oliver sitting on my bed, wide eyed.

My cheeks turn bright red when I realized he's just seen me naked. "Hey, Oliver."

"Hi," he squeaks.

I rub the back of my neck with my hand. "What're ya doin' here?" I ask, my Tennessee accent coming out a little more than usual in my embarrassed state.

"I came to check on you." He stands up from my bed.

"I'm fine," I say with a shrug.

Oliver sighs and walks over to me. "Jackson, you're not fine. Something's wrong. And it has something to do with Jake."

I wince when he says Jake's name and shift my gaze to the floor for a moment. When I look back up, Oliver's searching my face for an answer.

"I'm right, aren't I?" He takes a step closer, getting in my personal space.

I think about denying it, but I know I can't. This afternoon was too much proof. Plus, I know he can read my face. I can't keep it blank when talking about Jake. Maybe it's time to start trusting Oliver.

"Yeah, you're right," I say quietly, looking at the floor again.

He takes in a loud breath. "What happened?"

I look up at him. "A whole fucking lot." I go over to my bed and sit, putting my head in my hands.

Shortly after, I feel the bed dip as Oliver's weight is added. He places his warm hand on my bare back. "Tell me, Jackson."

I sigh and pick my head up a little. "He used me. He and Miley were dating. He would fuck her, then sneak over to my room and fuck me. They broke up. He kept fucking me. We dated in secret. We were gonna tell my dad. I told him I was gay and when I went to tell him about my relationship with Jake, Jake stopped me before I could." I hang my head sadly. "He was ashamed of me. He never cared about me, just cared about getting laid." My chin shakes as a tear slides down my cheek. "I loved him."

Oliver puts an arm around me and pulls me to him. I stay stiff at first, but then let myself go. I mean, I've just spilled my guts to this guy so I might as well feel comfortable with him.

"What an asshole," Oliver mutters as he rubs his hand up and down my arm.

"Yeah," I say weakly.

"I can make you forget," he says quietly.

I look up at him, not sure I've heard him right. "Huh?"

"I can make you forget him." He looks back at me. "I know a way."

"How?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Like this."

He leans down and kisses me gently on the lips. I feel the urge to pull away, but fight it and kiss him back. He deepens the kiss and pulls me onto his lap. I run my fingers through his hair, desperately trying to get into it or to feel something. I feel something, alright, but it's not what I was looking for. I wanted to feel something emotionally. But all I feel is Oliver's boner, which I am sitting on.

He lies back, pulling me down with him. I grow tired of his lips, so I move to his neck. I kiss it softly, then take some of his skin in my mouth and suck on it. He moans loudly and grabs my ass. Under me, I feel him get harder. I don't have a boner at all, so I close my eyes and think about Jake. I try to remember his abs, how they felt when I ran my hand over them. That gets my blood flowing. Then I try to remember the sex. The hot, amazing sex. It's memories I've tried to block out of my mind, but know I need in right now. They work. I'm sticking straight up by the time I'm finished with Oliver's neck.

He flips us over so he's on top of me.

He glances down at my towel, which my bulge is clearly showing through, and smirks. "Does someone want to come out to play?"

I bite my lip. Oliver's dirty talk turns me off a little, but I nod anyway.

The boy smiles wide. "Then let's take him out."

I raise my hips as he pulls the towel out from under me and then sit up. Then he puts one hand on my chest, pushing me back down gently. I lie back. He leans over me and kisses my lips. Then he trails his lips down my jaw to my neck. From there he goes to my chest and all the way down my stomach, placing butterfly kisses all over as he goes. He licks across my waistline and looks up at me with a devilish grin. I bite my lip, ready.

He looks back down and slowly takes it in his mouth. I close my eyes and lean my head back at the contact. I can feel his sleek tongue moving slowly, getting faster as he goes. He sucks gently and soon his head is bobbing up and down. But I'm not enjoying it much. Oliver's too damn sloppy. He's so unskilled. I try to remember how Jake used to do it. It was so fucking good.

Eventually, I release into Oliver's mouth. I have to bite my lip painfully hard to not moan out Jake's name as I cum. But really, that would be an insult to Jake because he was never that bad.

Oliver looks up at me with a small, shy smile as he wipes off his chin. I give him a week one back. He sits on the bed, then lies down beside me. I look at him. He glances down, then looks back at me expectantly. Oh. I guess he wants a blowjob, too. I do my best not to grimace as I move to the floor. He props himself up on his elbows and smirks a bit. Oh great, he's going to watch me.

- - -

Oliver really enjoyed me going down on him. He got into it and moaned my name and all that good shit. But it did nothing for me. It didn't even take my mind off Jake. It just reminded me of him even more.

"That was great," Oliver says, cuddling into my side.

I stay silent, not wanting to be mean and tell him it was actually horrible.

I hate myself. Oliver really likes him, but I don't like him. Not that way, at least. I'm trying and failing miserably. I wish I had feelings for him, but I just don't. If this was this afternoon, I could just dump him. But it's not, and because of the sex, I can't. That would be such a dick thing to do. Kind of like what Jake did to me.

"I really like you, Jackson," Oliver says(at the worst possible time, I might add.).

I stay silent again and bite my lip, looking up at the ceiling, not knowing what to say.

"But you don't like me, do you?" His voice is small.

I look at him. He is searching my face with those deep brown eyes. I want to tell him that I really do like him, but I just can't. I can't keep lying to that poor boy. He deserves so much better.

I shake my head slowly. "No, Oliver, I don't."

He looks at me like I've kicked his puppy.

"I wish I did," I tell him, sitting up quickly. "I'm trying to. I really, really am. I want to like you, but I just can't. And I feel like a complete ass for sleeping with you."

"Then why did you?" He sits up as well.

"I thought it would make me like you." I sigh. "Don't get me wrong, you're a great guy and I do like you as a person, but just not in _that_ way. And believe me, I've tried. But something's stopping me."

We sit in silence for a few minutes.

"It's because of Jake, isn't it?" Oliver asks, pulling at his fingers. "You still love him."

I run a hand through my hair and tug at it lightly. "Yeah, I do. I can't stop. It's just another thing I've tried and failed at. He has my whole heart and there isn't room for anyone else right now." I look at him. "I'm so fucking sorry."

He shakes his head a little. "It's alright. I understand, I guess. I kind of forced you into this." He smiles ruefully. "I knew you didn't like me, but I went after you anyway. And I knew you still loved Jake. But I thought if I slept with you, you would maybe love me." He shrugs. "Guess we're both at fault."

"So what now?" I sigh. "I'm not going to ask you to wait for me or anything because that's not fair to you. I don't think I am going to be over Jake any time soon. And it's not fair to you for us to stay together, either. You deserve someone who actually cares about you."

"Yeah." He nods slowly. "So it's over, then?"

"I guess it is," I say quietly. "I'm sorry, Oliver."

"It's okay." He gives me a sad smile then stands up slowly. "Guess I should get dressed and get out of your room, then." He chuckles half-heartedly.

We both get dressed. I want to keep my eyes to myself, but I keep glancing at Oliver to make sure he doesn't start crying or anything. He looks sad, but not enough to cry. And I still fucking hate myself. I've hurt him. I'm no better than Jake.

"Well, I'll see you around, then, Jackson," Oliver says as he opens my door.

"We're still friends, right?" I ask, hoping he still wants to be friends. Oliver really is a great guy. I'd hate for him to hate me because I'm a dick.

"Yeah," he smiles a little and pulls me into a hug. "I hope you find someone who'll make you happy, Jackson, even if it couldn't be me." He places a soft kiss on my cheek before stepping away. I watch him as he backs out of my room and closes the door. I silently curse myself for letting such a nice guy go but know in my heart it was the right thing.

- - - -

An hour or so later, my door bangs open.

"Jackson Rod Stewart, I am going to ring your neck!" Miley yells as she charges through the open door.

I look up at her from my comic book, which I am reading on my bed. "So Oliver told you, huh?"

"Damn right he did!" She puts her hands on her hips. "Okay, so you think just 'cause Jake used you for sex it's right to use other people for sex, too?"

I shake my head and throw my comic book to the side, standing up. "No, Miley, I don't."

"Then why did ya do that to him?!" She throws her hands up in the air.

"I tried to like him, okay?!" I yell right back, feeling defensive. "I just couldn't." I'm fighting back tears. All the drama today is getting the better of me. It's hurting like hell. I sit back down on my bed and put my face in my hands.

I feel Miley sit down beside me. "Hey, I'm sorry," she says softly. "I shouldn't have attacked you like that. I know you didn't mean to hurt Oliver."

"Yeah, so why'd ya yell at me?" I look up, sniffling.

"Because Oliver's my friend and I automatically go into attack-mode whenever someone hurts him." She shrugs. "It's a reflex."

"But I'm your brother." I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. "I'm hurting, too ya know."

She nods. "Yeah, I know."

"He's not mad, is he?"

"A little, but he understands," Miley says. "You did the right thing, Jackson. Not the sleeping with him part. That was kinda fucked up. But breaking up with him was the right thing to do."

"Yeah," I agree quietly.

"I heard about what happened at lunch." She looks at me with concern. "Ya gonna be okay?"

"No." I shake my head. "But I'll try to be."

"It'll get better, ya know." She puts her hand on top of my hand. "Just hang in there."

"Easy for you to say. You've got Lilly. I have no one."

"You have me," she offers.

"It's not the same, Miley." I grumble. "You wouldn't understand."

"Yeah, I guess it's not." She says, sounding rather cross. "And I guess I don't understand, but at least I'm trying to. I'm trying to be there for you, but you just keep freezing me out. Every time you let me in, you shove me back out. Jackson, if you don't start trusting people, you're going to be alone for the rest of your life." She stands. "I've been feeling sorry for you because yes, what Jake did to you was horrible. But you can't obsess over it forever. Don't expect me to continue to be sympathetic. 'Cause you're bringing this on yourself." With that, she turns and exits my room, slamming the door behind her.

I sigh and throw myself back on my bed. "I know, Miley. I know," I say to myself.

- - - -

**So yeah, review. Seriously, do it. I need feedback. I have idea if this is a decent story or not.**


	8. The Unforgetable Prom

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hannah Montana. I do not own "Sorry" by Buckcherry or "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas.**

**Congratulations, you have reached the final chapter of the story **_**Envy**_**. Thank you so much for reading this far! Originally, I did not plan on this being the last chapter, but I realized that this is the best place to end it. I always planned to have this chapter in the story, but I didn't plan for it to be the ending. I had a different ending in mind, but the time jump is too huge so I will do two follow-up one-shots. If you want to find out the true end, you will just have to author alert me if you haven't already.**

**A/N PLEASE READ: Here's the deal. I am sooo busy. My life is hectic. School has started. My schedule doesn't seem too bad, but only time will tell. It takes me forever to update, I know. For that, I apologize. I am trying to update three stories at once and it is hard. Meanwhile, I keep getting new ideas for stories that I want to start. I will not be starting any of them until I finish my current stories. So here's what I am going to do. I will finish my three current stories (**_**We'll Never Be More Than This**_**, **_**Envy**_**, and **_**Skyway Avenue**_**). All of them are almost done. Then, I will take a break. During this break, I will work on my new stories. I have three planned. I will try to type up one at a time. And I won't post the first one until I am almost finished it so it won't take me forever to update. However, this may mean not posting anything for months. If I write a one-shot I might post it, but you know how I hate those. So yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I am hoping that without the pressure to update I will write more often. I have no idea. I just know I need a break because I am stressed. So thanks for reading my stories. Get on with reading this chapter, now.**

- - - -

_How did I let Becky talk me into going to prom?_ I wonder as I look at myself in the mirror. I'm dressed in a black tux with a pink vest and matching pink tie. It matches Becky's dress perfectly. She's so excited to go to prom with her GBF. _Gag._ She dragged me all over the mall looking for the perfect dress, assuming I was actually enjoying myself. I tried to tell her that not all gay guys like to shop.

She laughed at me.

Isn't it bad enough that she made me ask her to prom? She argued with me that it's our senior prom and it's a right of passage and blah blah blah. At first I refused, but then she started crying, so I had to say yes. And as soon as Miley found out I was going, she made me get tickets for her and Lilly, too since they're sophomores and aren't allowed to go prom unless a junior or senior gets them tickets.

Then, I was forced into renting a limo. It will be me, Becky, Cooper, Sarah (Cooper's date), Oliver, and Mikayla. I am not at all happy about sharing a limo with that princess. She stills hates me because of the Jake thing. Yet, she went after Oliver as soon as news of our breakup started going around school. Every time they come over, she dangles him in front of me. But I don't care; she can have him. You'd think that after a month she would notice that I don't care, too, but she doesn't. You'd also think that after the Jake thing, she would have sworn off guys that like guys, even if Oliver likes girls, too.

I sigh, thinking about all this, and pin the flower with the weird French name to the front of my tux. I must say, I look pretty good, even if I am wearing pink. A knock on the door makes me tear my gaze from the mirror.

"Come in," I say, straightening my suit out.

Miley walks in wearing a strapless silver gown. Her hair is pulled back into a bun and her eyelids shine silver. "Hey," she says, her lips extra glossy.

"Wow, Miles," I breathe out, having a hard time believing how beautiful my sister looks. "You look good." I look up at her with a smirk. "What happened?"

She playfully shoves my shoulder with a laugh. "You don't look as much like a troll as you normally do, either."

"Ouch." I place my hand over my heart, feigning hurt.

"Can you zip me up?" She turns around, her back to me. The back of her dress is open, the zipper all the way down. I zip it up and she turns back around. "Thanks."

"No problem." I give her a small smile.

Downstairs, the doorbell rings. "Miley, Jackson, your ride's here!" Dad's voice calls out.

"Ready?" I ask, holding my arm out for my sister.

She nods, smiling and links her arm through mine. "Ready."

We descend the stairs together, arm-in-arm. Dad stands at the foot of the stairs, snapping pictures with his camera. Standing by the door are Lilly and Oliver. Lilly has on a gold dress to counter Miley's silver one. Her blonde hair is down, curled. For a tom boy, she cleans up nicely. Oliver, beside her, is wearing a black tux, much like my own. Pretty much the only difference is his tie and vest are red, not pink.

"My babies are going to prom," Dad says, his eyes getting teary.

"Hold it together, big guy," I tell him, clapping him on the shoulder. "You've got another two of these for Miley."

Miley runs over to Lilly, kissing her soundly on the lips. It's taken a while, but I've gotten used to them being a couple. The exchange flowers, all the while not being able to take their eyes off each other. Seeing them so in love hurts and brings back that hollow feeling I've learned to ignore by some miracle.

Oliver stands awkwardly in the doorway, watching his two best friends. I go over to him.

"Hey," I say. "You look nice."

He smiles a little and pushes his dark hair out of his eyes. "Thanks. You too. Very handsome."

It's gotten easier to be around Oliver, too. It's not as weird. Once he stopped giving me those sad, longing looks, we were really able to be friends. We've actually become pretty close. We're not going to date ever again, but I'd hang out with him if he ever wanted to. A couple of times he's been over to hang with Lilly and Miley, but he came in my room and played X-Box with me when they kicked him out so they could make out.

- - -

I make small talk with Oliver for a little while longer, then go to get Becky. The limo's meeting at my house, so Oliver and I have to get our dates. Her dad greets me at the door when I knock. He glares at me the whole time we're in the living room waiting, crossing his big, hairy arms.

"You're not going to try anything funny tonight, are ya?" he asks me in a gruff voice.

I shake my head calmly. "No, sir."

"Because that's my little girl." He points a fat finger at me. "And if you do so much as kiss her, you're never going to be able to impregnate any girl. Ever. Got it?"

_Oh_ _Mr. Ape Man, sir, _I find myself thinking, _you don't need to worry about me fucking your daughter. In fact, the mere thought of Becky naked makes me want to rip my eyes out and throw up on them. Why? Because I'm a homo. Yes, that's right. I know I don't look like one, but I'm a fag. I enjoy sticking my dick into the assholes of other males. If they made a cock flavored lollipop, I would always have one in my mouth. So by all means, please relax. Because if I'm going to be sticking my penis into anything tonight, it will not be your daughter's vagina. It will be some guy's butt. _

Instead I say, "You have nothing to worry about, sir."

"Oh my gosh! Jackson!" Becky squeals from behind me. "You look so hot!" She throws her arms around my neck and hugs me when I turn around. "Can you believe it's our senior prom?!"

"Actually, I can," I say with a small laugh as she pulls out of the hug.

"What were you two talking about?" Becky asks, her eyes darting between me and her dad as I slide her flower onto her wrist.

"Oh just having a conversation. Man-to-man." Her dad claps me on the back, hard. "Right, Jack?" He smiles at me, a big scary smile. I can hear him grinding his teeth.

"It's Jackson," I say, letting out a small sigh.

"Man-to-man?" Becky laughs. "More like man-to-woman."

"Becky." I roll my eyes. She seems to think it's okay to make gay jokes just because she's my friend.

Her father's face is confused. "What do you mean, man-to-woman?"

"Daddy, he's gay!" Becky exclaims, pointing at me.

My face starts to grow hot as Becky's dad's turns a nice shade of purple.

"Whoops, I forgot my camera," Becky says, oblivious to the color of her father's face, which is scaring me. "Be right back!" She skips to the stairs and goes up them.

"You're a goddamn homosexual?" The big man growls, his hands balling into fists.

I nod, shrinking with fear.

"This wouldn't be some cover up to make me trust you with my daughter, would it?" He points his fat finger at me again.

"No, sir. I like boys," I say.

Before anymore words can be exchanged, Becky comes bouncing down the stairs again.

"I forgot that I left it down here earlier," she says, grabbing her camera off a small table near the couch.

"Well, we better get going," I say, clapping my hands together, anxious to get out of that house. "Everyone's waiting for us at my house."

"Bye, Daddy!" Becky pecks her father on his cheek and his face softens.

"Bye, Becks. Have a great time." He smiles at her.

Becky takes my hand and pulls me to the door, throwing it open and dragging me outside. As she leads me to my car, I glance over my shoulder back to the house. Her dad is standing in the doorway, barely fitting in it. He lifts two fingers up to his eyes, then points at me, mouthing _I'm watching you_.

_What are you going to watch? Me sucking some guy's dick?_ I wonder to myself as I open my car door for Becky.

- - - -

After taking pictures on the beach near my house, we all climb into the limo to head to the restaurant. I tell Becky to order whatever she wants and she decides to take me up on that offer. She does order everything she wants. And they just happen to be the most expensive things on the menu. Good bye life savings.

Finally, the moment I've been dreading arrives. We step through the doors at prom and are greeted by very loud, crappy music, which horny teens are grinding on each other to. Right away I can tell someone's spiked the punch. Either that or they have flasks hidden on them. Or maybe they just showed up drunk because there's no way they're all sober.

"I love this song!" Becky exclaims, taking hold of my hand. "Let's dance, Jackson!"

Before I can protest, she drags me into the mass of sweaty bodies populating the dance floor (a.k.a. the center of our school gym). Becky soon finds out what I've been trying to tell her all along: I can't dance. I try my best to sway my body as least awkwardly as possible, but it's still terrible.

Finally, a slow song comes on. I'm pretty positive I can do this one. I hold my hand out for Becky and she takes it. As we dance, I keep looking all around. I know Jake's here. He wouldn't miss prom. He's _Jake_. He probably got tickets just to prove he's the only sophomore who could get them without a junior or senior date. Besides Mikayla, that is. Those two can get whatever they want. And I remember Jake telling me how much he wanted to go to prom. I am anxious to see who he picked as his date. However, word around school is that he's going to show up alone.

Becky and I spin around to the sappy love song until I accidentally step on her foot.

"Ouch!" She squeals and drops my hand.

"Shit! I'm so sorry, Becky," I say.

"It's fine," she grumbles as the song ends.

"I Gotta Feeling" by the Blackeyed Peas starts playing.

"Well, at least I made it through most of the first slow dance without stepping on ya," I joke. "I promise, next one that won't happen."

She makes a face. "Uh, yeah, Jackson… How about we don't dance together for the rest of the night?"

I feel like she's punched me in the gut. "But I'm your date."

"My _gay_ date," she points out. "I kind of want to dance with a guy that might actually be interested in me."

"Then why did you make me come with you?!" I shout over the very repetitive song.

"We just came as friends!" She shouts back. "Don't get your boxers in a bunch. Go find some hot guy to hook up with. I'm gonna do the same. Just have a good time, Jackson! You're always sad and you never have fun. Live a little! I'll meet you by the doors at the end of the dance."

And with that, she walks away. I sigh in frustration. I feel like yelling after her that I don't wear boxers, only briefs (except for that one pair of boxers I stole from Jake that one time to get back at him for stealing my underwear). But I just let it go. Because I realize something: I need better friends. That's sad.

_I gotta feeling_

_That tonight's gonna be a good night_

_That tonight's gonna be a good night_

_That tonight's gonna be a good, good night_

"Yeah, some good night," I grumble to myself as I make my way to the punch bowl. I pour myself a cup and bring it to my lips, forgetting my earlier suspicion that someone had spiked it. As soon as the sweet liquid with a bitter undertone hits my tongue, I remember and find out that I was correct. I want to spit the red drink out, but change my mind. Becky said to have a good time. Maybe a little liquor in my system will loosen me up and let me do that. Or at least make me not care if I see Jake dancing with some random whore. I swallow the mouthful then chug the rest down.

"Easy there, tiger," Mikayla says, appearing at my side with a smile on her face while brushing her dark hair out her eyes.

"Fuck off," I say, not in the mood for her.

She chuckles slightly, that smile still on her bright red lips. They match her dress. "Guess I deserve that one."

"Um, yeah?" I look at her questioningly.

"Look, I know I've been bitchy to you for the past few months, but I'm sorry, okay?" She pours some punch into a cup. "I was jealous of you because when I was with Jake, you were all he ever talked about." She holds up the ladle, offering to refill my cup.

"Jake talked about me?" I hold it out for her.

She nods while topping me off. "All the time. It was _sooo_ annoying." She pauses to take a sip of spiked punch, then licks her lips. "I guess I should have figured there was something between you two, but I didn't want to admit it."

"What did he say?" I can't help but ask.

"He would just mention you all the time. Like, 'oh, this one time Jackson and I went to this amusement park,' and stuff like that." Mikayla shrugs.

"Oh," I say softly.

"Yeah, then when you told me you guys had been in a relationship it really pissed me off." She takes another sip of punch, her dark eyes looking at me over the rim of her cup.

"Why?"

"Because I'd asked him if he ever had sex with anyone besides Miley or me and he said no." She frowns a little, showing that she's still slightly peeved about it.

"Did he ever end up telling you everything that went down with me and him?" I lean against the snack table.

She shakes her head, making her hair fall into her eyes again. "No. But I always wondered."

"I could tell you sometime," I say. "That is, if you don't still hate me."

"I never hated you, Jackson." She smiles a little. "I was jealous of you. That's why I went after Oliver when you guys broke up. But after being with him, I realized that he's actually a pretty great guy. I really like him."

I nod. "Yeah, Oliver's a keeper. Not for me, ya know, but for you."

"Yeah," Mikayla says, laughing a little. "So," she holds up her punch cup, "truce?"

I tap my cup to hers. "Truce."

We both down our drinks, grimacing at the bitter taste afterwards. I pour myself some more.

"Well, I better be getting back to Oliver before he comes looking for me." She tosses her cup in the garbage beside the table. "See ya, Jackson."

"Later Mikayla," I say as she starts to walk away.

So she was jealous of me? Huh, that's interesting. I can't imagine why. She has everything she could ever want. What do I have? A broken heart. And a prom date that left me. And a sister whom I haven't seen all night, come to think of it…

I sweep my eyes across the dance floor, scanning for Miley or Lilly. They better not be drunk. Finally, I spot them. Miley catches my eye, a worried look on her face. Before I can wonder what it's about, they rush over to me.

"Did you see him?" Miley asks.

"See who?" I ask, even though I'm pretty sure I know who she's talking about.

"Jake."

I shake my head. "No, not yet."

"Do you wanna go?" Miley puts her hand on my shoulder. "'Cause we can leave if you don't wanna run into him."

"We can stay," I say. "I don't want to ruin anyone else's night."

"But what if you see him dancing with some girl?" Lilly butts in.

"Then I'll ignore them." I shrug my shoulders.

Miley gives me a look. "Are you drunk?"

Before I can answer, Lilly snatches the cup of punch out of my hand and sniffs it. "It's spiked!" She glares at me then throws my drink away.

"Jackson!" Miley puts her hands on her hips. "You know what Dad said about drinking!"

"Yeah, and I'm not driving, so I don't see why it matters," I tell them both. "I'm just trying to have a little fun and loosen up. Okay?"

"No, not okay, Jackson!" Lilly yells.

"Why do you even care?" I cross my arms.

"Because you're Miley's brother, which means you're family to me." She mirrors my action. "Plus, I'd like to think that over the years we've become friends. And I don't let my friends do stupid things."

"Jackson, you're killing your brain cells!" Miley grabs me and shakes me. "Stop it, boy!"

"Okay, okay! I won't drink anymore! Just let me go and get away from me!"

Miley stops shaking me, but keeps her hands on my shoulders. "Promise?"

"Yes!" I throw her hands off.

"Good." She smoothes out her dress. "Come on, Lilly. Let's go dance." My sister takes her girlfriend by the hand and leads her to the dance floor.

I sigh, glad to be rid of them.

"Woah, that was intense," an all too familiar voice says. It's a voice I hear in my dreams and in my nightmares. It turns my blood cold, yet gets my heart to start hammering in my chest. It makes me want to start crying and makes my stomach get all nervous. All this, all at the same time. It's Jake's voice.

I turn to see him standing a few feet from me. His hair has been styled a special way for the occasion. He's wearing a black tux with a light green vest and matching tie. They're the same color as his eyes.

"How much of that did you hear?" I ask. I swear, if he heard us talk about him, I'll die.

"I walked up when I saw Lilly steal your drink." He frowns. "It's not like you to drink, Jackson."

"And how would you know?" I ask, feeling very angry. "I doubt you know anything about me."

He cocks his head to the side. "Oh really?" He takes a few steps towards me. "I know your name's Jackson Rod Stewart. I know your birthday's April twenty-sixth. I know your favorite color's blue. And I know your favorite band's My Chemical Romance." I stare at him and he takes a deep breath. "I also know personal things. I know how afraid you are that you're going to be working at Rico's for the rest of your life. I know you want to be a professional video game tester when you grow up. And I know how much you love being cuddled when you go to sleep. "

"What else?" I ask quietly, so quietly that I don't think Jake hears me.

But he does. "I know what kind of cologne and shampoo you use. I know how much you love holding hands." He reaches out and takes my hand, making my stomach go crazy. I hadn't realized he was that close to me until now. "And I know that you're in love with me."

I yank my hand from his, anger and hurt controlling my actions. "So that's what this is?!" I yell at him. "You're playing with me, aren't you?!" He just stands there with his mouth hanging open. "Fuck you, Jake. Fuck you," I say, tears coming to my eyes.

I can't stand to be near him. I turn and start running towards the exit. I push open the door and am greeted by humid night air. I'm in the parking lot, which is empty except for cars.

The door opens after me. I spin around, only to see Jake.

"Did you run after me?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yeah," he says quietly.

"Why?" I desperately swipe at my eyes, trying to dry them.

"Because I made the mistake of not fighting for you too many times before," he says, stepping closer. "I'm not making it again."

"What are you talking about?"

"I love you, Jackson!" He shouts, throwing his hands up in the air.

"No, you don't." I back away from him. "If you did, why would you have treated me the way you did?"

"I was scared, okay?!" I takes another step closer to me. "I didn't want to love you. Didn't want to be gay. I couldn't accept it. I was so afraid it would ruin my career. I didn't realize what I'd be giving up by pretending to be something I'm not."

"And what'd you give up?" I watch him carefully.

He looks at me, capturing my gaze. "You."

I want to smile, but my brain is stopping me. "Why should I believe you? You weren't even okay with telling my dad!"

"You should believe me," he reaches into his jacket, "because I told the world."

He pulls out his iPhone and touches the screen a few times before handing it to me. It's logged onto the internet with an article pulled up. The title reads "Jake Ryan is GAY!" I scroll down and scan through the article, my eyes wide. I check the website. It's legit.

"What did you do?" I ask in awe, handing his phone back to him.

"I came out," he says, taking it. "I started planning this that day in the bathroom when you asked me when I was going to come out."

"Did you say anything about me in that interview?"

Jake shakes his head. "No. I didn't know if you would want me to, so I just talked about my boyfriend, not using a name."

"Boyfriend?' I ask, standing up straighter.

"Well…" He blushes a little. "Ex boyfriend."

"Oh, yeah." I clear my throat.

"I wish he wasn't my ex boyfriend, though," Jake says, going over to a car and leaning against it.

"Really?" I ask, my heart beating like crazy. "Why?"

"Because this guy, he's amazing." Jake smiles. "He's sweet, funny, nice. And not to mention pretty fucking cute." He winks. "And I know I screwed things up with him. And I'd really love a second chance."

I'm about to smile when reality sets in. "I don't know, Jake. You really, really fucking hurt me," I say and his smile drops. "Seriously. You screwed me up so much. Why should I give you another chance?"

"Because I'm different this time!" He pushes off the car. "I'm not scared to be public. I can be a real boyfriend. I want to be. Please, Jackson, I'll do anything."

"Prove it," I say simply.

"Prove it?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah, prove it."

"Okay, I will."

Without warning, he grabs me by the hand and starts pulling me to the door. We're back inside the dance before I can register what's going on. He's still got a firm hold on my hand as he pulls me through the mass of students. One by one, they all stop and stare. Jake gets to the DJ and starts talking to him. I don't pay attention to what they're saying because I'm busy staring back at all the students looking at me, holding hands with Jake Ryan. Miley's one of them, Lilly by her side. They both look about ready to attack the boy on my side.

The fast song comes to a halt as the chords to a familiar song starts. It's Buckcherry's "Sorry".

Jake leads me out to the middle of the gym, students making a path for us as we go. When we get to the center, he stops.

"Would you like to lead?" He asks.

"No, you can," I say, still in a daze.

He smiles, nods, and places his hands on my hips, pulling me in closer to him. I slowly put my hands on his shoulders. A crowd gathers in a circle around us, watching. But he keeps dancing with me. His eyes never leave my face. Not once does he look at the students gawking at us.

"Jake Ryan, get your hands off him!" Miley yells, breaking through the crowd and into the circle. Lilly stumbles out after her.

Jake drops his hands from my waist but stays standing by me. "Miley, calm down."

"No, I will not calm down!" She pushes him away, getting in between us. "Do you even _know_ what you've put him through?!"

Jake sighs. "Yes, Miley, I do."

"Yet you're still disrupting his life?!" She screams. "God, you _dick!_ He was just started to get better! Now you're going to come along and break his heart all over again?!"

"I'm not going to hurt him again, Miley! I love him!" He shouts.

Everything stops. The students stop whispering, people stop trying to push each other out the way to see, those oblivious couples in the shady corners stop making out. Even the music stops playing.

"What?" Miley asks, taken aback.

"He dumped me because I didn't want to go public. I was afraid for people to know. But look around!" He waves his arms at the people crowding us. "I'm not afraid anymore! I don't care who knows!" He cups his hands over his mouth. "HEY, EVERYONE, GUESS WHAT! I'M GAY AND I'M IN LOVE WITH JACKSON STEWART!"

There's a collective gasp from the students.

"Oh yeah, like you didn't see that one coming," Jake says sarcastically to the crowd. "You already heard me say I'm in love with him. Get over it!"

Murmurs start going through out the gym. Over three hundred students are trying to digest Jake's announcement, my sister included.

"I don't even know what to make of this," she says, shaking her head.

"I'm not gonna hurt him!" Jake says, putting his hands on Miley's shoulders. "I messed up, I know, but things are different now. I swear."

They stare into each others eyes so intently that if I didn't know better, I'd think _they_ were in love. Finally, Miley closes her eyes and sighs.

"Fine, I believe you," she says, opening her eyes. "But if you hurt him this time, your ass is mine!"

"I swear I won't." Jake smiles. "Thank you, Miley." He wraps his arms around her and hugs her.

"Hold on a minute!" I say, ending their hug. "I haven't taken him back yet!"

"Yet." Jake raises his eyebrows.

"Ugh." I roll my eyes. "Can I talk to you outside, please?" I gesture towards the doors.

"Anything for you," he says, starting to walk towards them.

I follow, feeling people's eyes on me the whole time. Then, we're back in the parking lot again.

"Did I prove myself?" Jake asks, leaning against the building.

"I guess." I lean against the building next to him, our shoulders touching.

"So are you gonna take me back?" He looks at me expectantly.

"I still don't know if I trust you," I say, looking at the ground. "How can I ever trust you again?"

Jake pushes off the building and stands in front of me. He places his hands on either side of my head, leaning into me. His face is so close I can smell his minty breath and feel it, cool against my lips.

"Kiss me," he whispers.

"What?" I ask quietly, looking up into his green eyes.

"Just kiss me, Jackson."

He closes his eyes and gently brushes his lips against mine. That sends tingling sensations all through my body. It's a feeling I've missed so damn much. I tilt my head up and our lips meet again, this time longer. It's a slow, sweet kiss at first, but soon it's intensified. I glide my tongue across Jake's bottom lip, aching to enter. It slips inside and dances with his tongue and they become tangled together.

When we finally pull apart, my stomach is in knots (the good kind) and I'm lightheaded. I lick my lips, loving the taste. I place my hand to them. They're still tingling.

I open my eyes to see Jake staring down at me, a huge smile on his face.

"Shit, Jackson," he says, breathing heavily. "Memory serves no justice." He leans his forehead against mine.

"If we're gonna do this, you gotta promise me something," I say, looking up into his eyes.

"Anything," he says.

"You gotta promise not to do what you did to me ever again."

Jake lifts his forehead off mine and nods. "Done."

"I'm not done," I say, getting the boy to stop nodding. "You have to hold my hand in public. You have to introduce me as your boyfriend. You can't be afraid to be in this relationship. You have to promise that no matter what, you're gonna stand by me and not leave me. 'Cause I swear to God, Jake, if you hurt me again, you won't have to worry about Miley kicking your ass. I will."

Jake nods. "Okay, Jackson."

"You agree to my terms?"

More nodding. "Yes."

"Which ones?"

"All of them."

I raise an eyebrow. "Why? Why now and not before?"

"Because I know something now that I didn't before," Jake says.

"And what's that?"

He smiles a little. "That love is a leap of faith. And I love you, Jackson. So I'm jumping in. Head first."

"You really love me?" I ask, grabbing him by the jacket.

"Yes."

"Then prove it." It's my turn to smile. "Kiss me."

Jake leans forward, crashing his lips against mine. I pull away shortly. "And by the way, I love you, too."

We stay in the parking lot kissing until Miley and Lilly come find us to tell us it's time to go.

"Where's Becky?" I ask, trying to fix my hair.

"She told me to tell you that she's going to a hotel with some guy from her chemistry class," Miley says, making a face. "Whore."

"Fine by me." I smile and turn to Jake. "It appears a spot just opened up in the limo. Care to join us?"

He slips his hand into mine. "I'd love to."

When we get back to the limo we find that Cooper, Sarah, Oliver, and Mikayla are already settled in, ready to go home.

"Let me guess, you two got back together?" Mikayla asks as soon as she sees Jake.

"That's right," my boyfriend nods as he slides into the seat next to her. My heart swells with pride.

"'Bout damn time!" She laughs and kisses him on the cheek. "No hard feelings?"

"Sure…" Jake scratches his head.

Oliver catches my eye. I shrug. He smiles. We're gonna be okay, me and him.

- - - -

We get home. Dad fires questions at us, especially me and Jake, whom I have invited to spend the night. We tell him that yes, we are dating, and we'll explain everything in the morning. After saying goodnight to Lilly and Miley, Jake and I head to my room.

"God, this room has not changed one bit!" He says, looking around.

I sit on the edge of my bed and watch him. It feels so good seeing him in my room again.

After small talk and flirting, we strip down to our underwear and climb into my bed. I settle into Jake's arms and bury my face in his chest, breathing in his intoxicating smell. I've never felt more at home in my life. And we lie there. He holds me and I cling to him, afraid that if I let go he'll disappear.

He falls asleep first. I watch him sleep, smiling at the peaceful look on his face. It's then I realize how exhausted I am. I haven't had a restful sleep in months.

I close my heavy eyelids, letting myself give into my exhaustion. For a brief moment, I don't want to go to sleep because I'm afraid Jake won't be there when I wake up. But that thought quickly leaves my head. He'll be there. I know it. Some would say I'm a fool for trusting him. But hey, fools fall in love, right? So call me a fool. But I love this boy. And I need him. And deep in my heart, I know he won't leave me again. Because I honestly believe he loves me, too.

So I fall asleep, smiling as well, cuddled in Jake's arms. It's the first peaceful sleep I've had in months.

What? Disappointed that we didn't have sex? Not me. I couldn't think of a more perfect ending to my crazy night. Why? Because I got the guy. And that's all I need. So go read your porn somewhere else, you horny readers. Just kidding. But seriously, we're not going to have sex.

I've always been jealous of Miley. She's always had the perfect life and she's always gotten everything she's ever wanted. But now, I have everything I could possibly want. I know who I am, my dad accepts me, and I have the guy of my dreams. So for the first time ever, my life's pretty perfect.

So really, Miley has nothing on me. I've got it all. In fact, she maybe should start envying me.

Because I sure don't envy her anymore.

**THE END.**

**- - - - **

**I know it was long, but since it was the last chapter, I had to tie up a lot of loose ends. Thank you so much for reading this entire story and for all of the support! I hope you enjoyed my story and that you continue to read any more stories I post in the future. I have two one-shots to follow this story that I should be posting soon (hopefully). **

**So that's all, folks. Thank you again.**

**Review, please.**


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